Jackson - 5.5

surprises

Sometimes this kid really surprises me. Honestly, Shawn and I had nothing to do with his picture below, or the words he attributed to it. I am pretty sure I teared up when he showed it to me. So simple. So true. I hope this means we are raising a socially conscious young man. I dunno. But he nailed it.


And also, here is Jackson and his Daddy at Thanksgiving meal at school. We all went and had a great family meal together. Until it was time for recess and he abandoned us for the playground. Ah well, can't win 'em all.


I hope this kind of memory stays in his heart for a long, long time. I can remember how special it was when my Mom came to have a holiday meal with me at school. I now know of course she must have juggled her own schedule as an elementary school teacher to make that happen. Thank you for that Mom. This also reminded me of when my Dad sent corsages to me on Valentine's. I think I might have been a tad embarrassed at the time - I have no idea why I would have been, but I was a bashful child. I remember my teachers would ohhh and awww over it -- and now I get it. How thoughtful and sweet. Yes, those are the memories I keep so close in my heart, and I hope my boys will, too, as they grow up. And yeah, I took this picture, and yeah, it is blurry.

***
I had to add this on a little after I wrote the above post. This kid, I swear, I love him so so so much. Even the days he pushes my buttons (which is often) and makes me shake my head in confusion, I love him to pieces. This evening the boys were watching a kiddie show before bed time. Shawn and I were in the same room but not fully paying attention. Jacksonn turns to me and asks:
"Mommy, are wishing wells real?"
me: No buddy, they aren't real. They're just on the show.
Him: But whales are real, right?
me: (totally confused) Yeah hon, whales are real.
Him: But not wishing whales, right?
me: Oh, yes, right, there are no such thing as wishing whales.

How can you not love this kid???

swim lessons

OK, my apologies for going off. I guess I was burning some steam after taking the boys swimming yesterday. On that note, here's a pic of Holden at his swimming lessons from this morning. He's loving them! (click pic to enlarge)

*rant enclosed*

*With apologies, this will be a bit of a rant*

Dear Mom at the indoor pool,
I know, I know, Jodi Picoult is a great writer, and her books are hard to put down. I know having two rambunctious boys can be exhausting (truly, I know this). I know that curling up with a good book and blocking out the world sounds truly wonderful. I know that it is easy to get distracted from real life sometime. I know you are probably tired. But you know what? I'm not your babysitter. I'm at the pool for my own kids, not yours. I'm not there to discipline your two boys. I have two of my own that I'm trying to raise, and they keep me busy enough. It is not my job to keep your boys from ramming into my 3 year old on the baby water slide. It is not my job to tell your kids not to steal toys from kids smaller than they are. It is also not my job to show them my son's initials on said toys to prove they belong to my son and not to them. It is also not the lifeguard's job to tell your boys 4 times (yeah, I counted, sue me) to stay out of the water during safety break. Hey mom with the book - you have two boys, they are your responsibility. You are 6 feet away from them, seriously, you don't see all this going on?? Water can be dangerous. This is not the park where the worst that could happen is a kid gets clocked by an out of control swing. This is the swimming pool. Water? Drowning? Hello? Put down your book. Open your eyes. Watch your boys. Better yet, maybe put on a swimsuit and swim with them - just a thought. It is your job. Not mine. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,
Other-exhausted-mom-who-loves-to-read-Jodi Picoult-books-and-block-out-the-world-but-I-do-it-on-my-own-time-thank-you-very-much

It is ON!

We have had a day of potty training success! I subscribe to the "wait until they are ready" school of thought for potty training -- or potty readiness, as our pedi calls it. I've been asking Holden for months now if he wanted to wear big boy underwear, and every day he says no. I say fine and move on. His underwear is ready. Treats are ready. I have even promised to buy him a zoo if he gives up diapers (a toy zoo, mind you...) Today, for some reason, he said yes to the underwear. So it was on. He has successfully used the potty 6 times, including twice with...well, I don't need to get too graphic, but hooray, the boy pooped on the potty, too! Thus far, knock wood, only one accident today. I'm ready to leap into this wholeheartedly 'cause I am SICK OF BUYING DIAPERS!!! Seriously. And come on, he's 3 now, let's get this party moving. I admit to having a pretty easy time potty-training Jackson. When he was ready, he went full force and never looked back. I'm so crossing my fingers that Holden will follow suit...stay tuned...

I give it a 10

This picture doesn't even touch it. This is actually 2002, but it is as far back as I can find a picture of us together - mainly because there were no digital cameras before this point, and I'm too lazy to go into the basement to find a photo album and a picture and scan it into the computer. My point is... 10 years ago today I went on my last first date. Shawn picked me up in his snazzy Chevy Lumina and took me to see a play. We had some drinks, some dinner, lots of laughter, lots of easy talking, and a whole lotta flirting. And that my friends, was that. We were both smitten. It was all over from there. No more first dates for either of us. Just more dates adding onto more dates adding onto a shared apartment, an engagement ring, a wedding, a first house, a baby, a cross country move, another house, another baby, another house, no more babies, and still lots of laughter, lots of talking, lots of flirting. 10 years in a blink. I remember it like it was yesterday (I even remember what we were both wearing that night!). Love you schmoop - here's to ten times ten more years together.

Mom and Me

Mom recently came up for her annual Halloween visit - she comes up several times a year (thank you Mom!) but Halloween has become a tradition. She spends Thanksgiving in Dallas (where Kimi and fam live), Christmas in hometown of Lubbock (where Debbie and fam live) and Halloween here. I love it. She gets to see the boys all dressed up and excited for the day. She gets to be here for Holden's birthday (which I also love -thank you Mom!). She gladly stays at home to pass out treats so Shawn and I can take the boys out trick-or-treating. It is a week of festivities and planning between birthday and trick or treating, and a perfect chance for a Colorado visit. This year I treated Mom to tea at The Brown Palace as a thank you for all her help while she was here. She helps me a ton with the boys, and Shawn and I usually get a date night or two (or three!) in when she's here, too. We had a lovely time at tea - something she and I adore doing. I love the sweet formality of it. I love dressing up. I love pouring and tasting and stirring and chatting. I love remember my own time serving tea at Fortnum and Mason in London. I love my Mom. This is us heading out for our afternoon. My husband is many, many wonderful things, but honey, these were some crazy blurry shots (love you love you love you though!!). But it still captured mom and me in all our finery, smiling and ready for some clotted cream and Darjeeling. Thanks again Mom for all you are, all you do, putting up with me, and loving my family so. We love you, and we hope to see you again soon!

BFF

Jackson's best friend at school is Linea. She's a beautiful little girl with the biggest brown eyes and precious dark curls you've ever seen. I can see why he loves her. He talks about her all the time, and shares little snippets of their friendship with me. Today on the way to school I asked him what made her his very best friend. He responded so simply: "Well, we have the same shoes." Ah, if only our grown up friendships could be so simple...

Halloween '09 and a Birthday...

Birthday boy checking out his cupcakes

crazy monster cupcakes!

peanut butter spiders

mummy pigs in a blanket!
Bat wing chips and bloody salsa

more cupcake gazing...

Gidget the good witch!

Carissa -Bat Girl!

Birthday boy

This is from the day before - we took the boys to Trick or Treat Street in downtown Castle Rock. They were both Transformers. Holden switched to a Power Ranger for last night's trick or treating!

Despite the mountains of snow and 3 days of canceled school, by Saturday the skies were clear and sunny in preparation for a beautiful Halloween day - and a small birthday party for Holden! Jackson and I did some sledding in the morning, then we went into birthday/candy mode. We had a few of our closest friends over to celebrate Holden turning 3. The party was as much fun for us adults as it was for all the kiddos. The kiddos played a game of pin the nose on the pumpkin, ate monster cupcakes, and played hard! Trick-or-treating was done Mayberry-style with all the kids in the 'hood coming out for a beautiful evening of treats and no tricks. The weather was perfect, the moon was full, and so were all our bellies by the time we hit the pillow. An awesome day. Halloween is such a fun, low-stress holiday - and I especially like it when coupled with Holden's birthday.

Snow Day

We had a wicked snow storm drive through today. We were snowed in all day - no school, lots of hot chocolate, movies, games, stories, and snacks. Tomorrow school is already cancelled again and Jackson and I have sledding on the brain. These pics are actually from last week's snow storm. All the snow in these pictures had melted before today's storm hit. We're hoping for it to clear up for Holden's birthday party and trick-or-treating on Saturday!!! But we're enjoying it while it is here...

3

My sweet baby boy is turning three today. I can't even believe how fast the past three years have flown - it feels like yesterday I was waddling around trying to get that baby to drop. And here he is a full grown little boy. Sigh...

Holden, at the ripe old age of three, you are one of the brightest lights in my life. You make me smile just by being you. I love how your big brown eyes are so full of love and joy. I love how when I check on you each evening, after you've fallen asleep, you smile in your sleep when I kiss you. I love when I discover you've learned something new that I didn't teach you -- like all the sudden you know the letters in your name! How did that happen? I love your infectious laugh. Your adorable little nose. Your dimple. I love how you nestle your head under my neck. How you still grab at your ears when you are drinking milk from a cup -just like you did when you were a nursing babe. I love how excited you get by little things like snow, Capri Sun, crayons and seeing horses in the field near our home. I love how you still talk about our "old house" and call it the "baby house." I love that you love Cheetos and Cheerios and Cheese. But only yellow cheese, not white cheese. I love your toes, your fingers, your belly button that reminds me you once were connected to me in a way you will never be to another soul. I love that you are learning to fly - not literally, of course, but your independence is growing by leaps and bounds. I love how sometimes the rhythm just gets your toes to tapping and you have to dance. I love that Jackson is your best friend in the whole world. I love that you call me Mama. I love how on occasions, though you look very much like me, I see bits of your Daddy coming through in you. I love your soft, yellow hair. I love how sometimes you make your voice sound like a cross between a toad and Ethel Merman. I love your curiosity. Your constant questions of "Why?" and "Where we going now Mama?" And I love you. All the way to the moon and back. My sweet little boy. Who today. Is three.

baked apples

It's snowing. Jackson's on fall break. The boys have taken a long bubble bath but I have not. They smell super sweet. We are making baked apples and ham sandwiches. Cozy day. Wishing Shawn was here with us. Loving fall in Colorado. Peace.

the boys and me

I don't get pictures of myself with the boys much. I'm usually behind the lens. Thankfully on this gorgeous fall day I asked Shawn to snap a few of us together. I love this picture of us. I love these boys. Thanks honey for snapping a few for me.

I am...

In college I had a very beloved professor who shaped me and guided me a great deal in the art of acting and directing. Dr Sorensen wasn't just a "teacher" - he was a mentor, a guidance counselor, a friend. I used to skip my regular classes just to audit some of his acting classes -- never mind that I was already in several of his acting classes, I loved being an actor in his classroom. Because it was never a classroom - it was always the stage.

Today a friend of mine from way back when posted a recent picture of himself and Dr Sorensen on Facebook. He titled it "who are you." Exactly. That was Dr. Sorensen's phrase of choice in acting class - getting to the truth and authenticity of an actor in the moment. "Who are you?" was shouted or whispered or spoken by Dr Sorensen at just the right moment in a scene or a warm up or a rehearsal -- he was reminding us to never just walk through the words, but to live the words, be the character. It was an "actor thing." Or so I thought.

But as I looked at that picture, that whole world flooding back to me with great nostalgia, I realized it is just as timely now that I am not an actor as it was when I was 110% committed to the craft. It was a reminder that I am many things.

I am a mother.
I am a wife.
I am a woman.
I am a friend.
I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am a photographer.
I am a homemaker.
I am a soul that craves creativity.
I am honest.
I am a teacher.
I am a learner.
I am me.

I am all these things. And more. I am not longer an actor. But I still am.

Pumpkin Patch '09

We made our annual trek to the local garden center for their festive fall display. Every year I say we are going to hit a real pumpkin patch like the sort we used to visit in Seattle, and every year I remember how muddy that can be and how cold for small hands and I'm thankful for the quaintness and the brevity of this place. The boys love it. We love it. Happy times.

Story Time

We have a bedtime routine in our house that we very rarely stray from. It has been in place since Jackson was a wee babe. The boys enjoy it, but they do not go to it readily. They would prefer to play a bit longer, stall a bit more, eat just one more snack. It is not fun getting these two boys into their bedtime routine. But once they are in the middle of it, it all falls into place. We start with snuggly jammies -- they are both currently favoring superheros of any and all kind. I had to tell Holden these jams above were from Super-Stripey, superhero of stripes! He didn't buy it. After jammies, we brush teeth. I don't know if there is a little boy alive who likes brushing his teeth, but if you have one who does, please savor that...and DON'T tell me about it. These two hate it. But we do it and they survive. And next up is story time. Their favorite. We almost always read all together as a family, unless one of us, Shawn or I, are not at home for some reason. The boys each pick a book and then we have one more that Shawn or I pick. We love books in our house, and the boys have a plethora of them, whether they are a present from Aunt Kimi or Nana or Grammy, or picked out from the library, or a hand-me-down from mine or Shawn's own youth, we've got a library of books to choose from. And so we snuggle down. Warm under the toast duvet in our master bedroom, and we read. Jackson usually reads one of the books to all of us, sometimes two, and then we alternate reading the rest. It is usually peaceful and calm and sweet, and you would probably catch Shawn and I giving each other a "ahhh, aren't they cute!" look here and there as well. It is a wonderful, quiet time in our day. And I treasure it.

Kindergarten

My baby goes to school every day. Well, not weekends. But every day besides that. He gets himself dressed. He brushes his own teeth. He eats breakfast - Cinnamon Life if you please. He takes his Transformers backpack and matching lunch box and snack box and climbs into his big boy car seat and buckles himself in. He smiles a lot. Sometimes he whines. But mostly he smiles. He chatters all the way to school. He smiles at me and at his brother. Sometimes he sings a little bit of a song. He occasionally shares a fear or a worry with me, or asks me things like how I know where I'm going in my car and how I learned to get to places and how will he learn that when he's big enough to drive. Then we pull into the drop off lane at school. It is always a very fast drive. Too fast. He gathers up his stuff. It seems a lot for his little frame. Though he is (crazily enough) the tallest boy in his class. He tells me he doesn't want to be dropped off, that he wants me to walk him up. But then he spots a friend or two also walking into school, and he quickly leaps out of the car. They keep you moving in the drop off lane because it is busy and crowded and everyone has some place to be. Usually I get a good-bye kiss. But not always. Sometimes he's in too much of a hurry to catch up to a friend. But always I get a second glance and a smile and a wave. And his eyes are blue and sparkly. And he loves where he is going to spend the day. And I wave and smile and mouth to him that I love him. And just as I am pulling away, I choke back a tear. Every. Single. Day. It doesn't get easier. And I love him. Love him so very, very much. And I flash back to that little tiny baby placed upon my chest for his first breath of life. And he is five. And it is going by ever so fast.

Today.

This is the day we tried to take family pictures. This is the day that we ended up playing at the park instead. This is the day we took the boys to McDonald's. This is the day we got to have a grown up conversation while the boys played at McDonald's. This is the day I ate french fries. This is the day the sun shone. This is the day I finished editing images of 91 adorable children, and 3 sets of twins. This is the day Shawn burned cookies. This is the day we managed to salvage 1 cookie each and they were divine. This is the day that throwing balls down the back yard ramp was all the delight we needed. This is the day that fall came to our home.

36

In honor of being 36 years of age as of today (thanks for the med-free birth Mom!), here are 36 things I am thankful for, in no particular order:

1. The view out my window
2. Brie "cake" in the fridge
3. The Birthday song my husband composed for me, and the French Toast he made for me
   
4. Healthy children
5. The ability to chase my passion
6. Security in a sometimes not-so-secure world
7. Parents who are kind and caring and gave me the freedom to always spread my wings and fly, but were also always there to catch me if I needed it
   
8. Dear friends to share in the adventures of mommy-hood
   
9. Toile
   
10. Creativity
    
11. That my son can read - it is like music to my ears
12. My 8 year old car still runs like a dream - thank you Subaru for making great cars!
13. Sisters who are my friends, whom I can still disagree with, whom I will love for all time
14. Facebook - yes, silly, but it brought old friends into my life again, and helped me find family I thought lost forever
15. Photoshop
16. That Holden has my eyes, which are also my mom's eyes
17. Coffee and Diet Coke and Red Wine
18. Things that belonged to my Granny - her Clark's Embroidery box, her copper jello mold, her Camelot record, the slipper chair from her storage locker, her love of books
19. In-law's that I enjoy spending time with
20. My Pentax
21. 3 Lisa's who make my life happier in different ways - Majed, Weik and Pike
22. Short hair
23. My step grandmother BJ who has always been a Grandma to me, and always will be
24. The color yellow. And red.
25. My health
    
26. My husband
27. My boys
    
28. Memories to remind me how I good I have it in the present
29. Fleece blankets
30. Palisade peaches
    
31. Clear conscience
    
32. Freedom
33. Learning something new on a daily basis, even though I thought my "learning" was something I did only in school
34. A house that is a home
35. That I know how to sew
36. That I have made it another year on this beautiful earth
    

You know what's cool??!

When you think you have 28 more images to edit and discover you have only 4. :-) I was working last night and thought I had 2 classes left to edit, besides the one I was on. Low and behold I already did them! How's that for a surprise! I may make my deadline after all!! Happy days. Holden and I are going to make cupcakes!