Friday, December 29, 2006

Two Months

Holden -- What I love about you at two months...

  • The way you bust into a smile when you see my face
  • Your sweet smelling head
  • How you grasp my shirt and my thumb when you eat
  • The dimple on your right cheek (just like your brother's)
  • Your chubby legs and fat belly
  • 10 tiny toes and 10 tiny fingers
  • Hearing your laugh
  • Watching you watching us
  • You are a good little sleeper
  • You love bath time
  • Those beautiful blue eyes that may just stay that way
  • You complete our family

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Catching Up

Despite the joys of the holiday season, it has been a difficult past week. My sweet Granny - my Mom's mother - passed away last Sunday evening at the age of 92. She was very frail, and it was a peaceful passing. But very sad nonetheless. She was a beautiful, intelligent and loving woman, and I know that my sisters and I, as well as my cousins near and far, are all so fortunate that we were chosen to be her grandchildren. The funeral was a lovely ceremony celebrating her life and what a good, dear woman she was. And she really was. There were a lot of shared stories, laughter and tears amongst our family - siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. It was amazing - my parents have been divorced for 25 years, Dad has been remarried for 23. But my Dad mourned Granny's passing as well. He adored my Granny - everyone who knew here did. I saw my parents embrace and cry together. My stepmother was so kind and understanding - even watching Jackson and my nieces during the service while my Dad sat with our family. What a testament to my parents and their strength. I feel honored they are all three my folks.

Me and my 2.5 year old and my 8 week old made the drive from Colorado to Texas for the service. It was a 10 hour car ride with stops for nursing, gas and food. I was a bit frazzled by journey's end, to say the least, as were the boys. But I was very glad to be in the embrace of family. I was so glad to see Mom, - who has been my Granny's caretaker for 20 years. As well as my sisters, nieces, Dad, stepmother, and many more. My mom is my hero, she was so strong during the week's events. I am in awe of her strength. I think she had made her peace the day Granny left us - she told her it was OK for her to go, that we would all be fine and that she taught us well -- and within a few hours she was gone.

Sleep for me and the boys was really difficult. I'm not all that certain I managed it all very well. I couldn't have done it without my sister's there to help me, that is for sure. In addition, because of the crazy blizzard in Colorado, we were not able to return to Colorado the day we planned. As much as I love my family, I wanted to be home. I missed Shawn. I didn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time every night we were there. Holden, Jackson and I are all in one room so when Holden woke up to eat, Jackson woke up, too. It was a pretty stressful week. My sisters, as I mentioned, were a wonderful help, but they couldn't nurse my newborn at night, nor comfort my 2.5 year old at 3 in the morning when he was unsure where he was. Top that with being in an unfamiliar environment for both of them, Jackson's lingering croup, and Holden catching a cold, and well, I felt like I was barely hanging on to be honest. This was my most challenging moment as a parent to be certain.

But eventually we were able to make the long drive home, just in time for Christmas. I said good-bye to my family, and a final good-bye to my Granny, and we were off. The drive home was easier for some reason, perhaps because the boys were both so worn out that they slept a lot. I came home to my husband and my father in law, who got to see Holden for the first time. We had a quiet Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together, our first with our new son Holden. Jackson loved opening presents and seemed to really have a ball with it all. Perhaps he had too much fun - it was a little overwhelming for him by morning's end. The snow made it feel very snugly and Christmas-like.

Despite the craziness of the trip, and the very unfortunate circumstances that brought us all together, I am so glad I got to see my family before the holiday. I am glad that many who hadn't met Holden got to finally see hour precious boy. And they got to see our growing and rambunctious toddler as well. Despite all the challenges of the week, it was a lovely visit home. I hope my Granny was smiling down on us all together. I am sure she was.

My Granny with us 3 girls, sometime in the early '80's

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Can you put a price on naps??

Um, yes, you can. Approximately $150. That's the going price for a nap these days. A package of DD Batteries costs about $10. DD batteries are required for Holden's Nature's Sounds Papasan Swing, which cost about $140 when I bought it new for this baby - one of the few new items I purchased for boy #2. And I love that swing. Those DD batteries, in that amazing, snugly swing, keep my sweet son asleep for hours on end. He loves to swing in it, lulled gently to sleep. Oh sure, I've heard you should "never let them sleep in a swing!" or a bad habit will form. Well, I had to break the swaddle habit of my eldest born at 9 months - yes, 9 months and still swaddled - and that was the "recommended" way to get a baby to sleep by all the modern day experts! It was a rough addiction to break. So now, I say whatever gets my sweet little baby a good long, restful nap, I'm all for it. And besides, he sleeps in his crib at night, so he knows that place as well. But he's asleep within minutes in that swing. Which gives me peace of mind. Gives him a restful sleep. And gives Jackson a mommy who isn't constantly putting a baby to sleep. Win-win for all of us. So you bet there is a price for a nap - approximately $150. (plus additional batteries which will surely be needed in the next few weeks or so, maybe sooner). Best darn $150 we ever spent.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Better Days

Oh boy, we have had some much better days the past few days. Whew! I thought I was going to have to retire to an island by myself, one laced with a Thorazine shuffle of sorts. But alas, the boys have redeemed themselves. Jackson's cough is still rough, but he's in a better frame of mind. He's not a royal pain in the tush. We've been building towers from blocks and Pop-Ons, and dancing a lot to The Wiggles. Today I showed him a video from when he was a baby and he kept saying "Baby Holden!" until I finally got him to realize it was him as a baby. Or at least I think he got it. Who knows. He also went "swimming" in the tub today again and had a ball. That may be our new ritual. It makes him happy, which makes me happy!

Holden had a great day yesterday. He napped off and on all day, happy as a clam. He's smiling more and showing a fun little personality. He's still a grump from about 5-7 (sorry Daddy), but once he gets ready for bed don't stop him, he's ready to sleep! This kid is very different than his brother. Hates the sling - Jackson loved it. Loves the Bjourn - Jackson hated it. Hates being swaddled - Jackson loved it. Loves his binkie - Jackson hated it. Sleeps like a champ - Jackson hated it (still does). Both boys - love the boob (sorry, but they do..they are males after all...).

So with that, I can rest assured that bad days will be mixed with good days. My boys are well cared for, well fed (do Cheerios count as lunch?), and well loved. I'm not jumping out any windows. And let me say, even with Holden being cranky during the dinner-hour, I'm SOOOO happy to see my husband when he walks in the door each night. It reminds me I'm not alone in this. He's got my back -- and even a few night feedings as well!

Oh yes, here's proof Holden's a happy fellow:

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

2 minutes

I have two minutes to myself. That's something. Holden's napping - due for a feed any minute now, but why wake a sleeping babe? My croupy (yes, CROUP again!) 2-1/2 year old is in the tub going "swimming." Yes, I can hear him and he's just next door. He's singing and splashing. So I'm taking 2 minutes to myself. And what do I do? I type my blog about my boys. Sigh...

It's been a rather rough week. Holden is very cranky lately. He is either eating, sleeping or fussing. I'm not sure we've seen a lot of happy baby in the past week or so. I've got about a 10 minute window between nursing and napping when he's a happy kid. Then he bunches up his sweet little face and cries. I know, I know, 6 weeks is the toughest age (or so my books tell me) for an infant. But this is hard with Jackson having the croup again. Luckily he manages it much better as a toddler than he did as an infant (and yes, I can still hear him singing in the tub - LOUDLY!). He sleeps through the cough, so that is a bonus. But he wakes extra early and he won't go back. So after a 5:30 feeding for Holden (his 4th of the night mind you), Jackson woke up at 6. So I guess we were all up and awake. I'm not feeling very functional to be honest. But I guess somedays you just have to survive, as T tells me. Some weeks you just make it through...

Ooops! 2 minutes up. Mr. Fussy-britches wants to eat. Well, at least Mr. Croupy-pants is still happily singing in the tub...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Little Man

Oh my little man. I know this is a rough time for you. You've been our one and only for so long. I know it's hard to share us, now that your baby brother is here. But hang in there. There are so many good times ahead for you two. For all of us, really. Know that we, your Daddy and I, adore you and love you as much as we always have. And we may not have as much one-on-one time as we used to, but you are still as important to us as you have always been.

You are asserting yourself more, especially in the last few weeks. You are "trying" us. You are pushing limits and pushing buttons. You want to see how far you can go to get just a little more attention. You want to show us that you are a "big boy" and you can do anything and everything "all by yourself!" But you are still our little boy. You still need help tying your shoe. You still need someone to make you breakfast, lunch and dinner (though you can get an apple from the fridge and wash it all by yourself!). You still need someone to buckle your car seat, get your sippy cup, read you stories, and tuck you in at night. And baby boy, we still need you, too.

Tonight, when I went to check on you before getting ready for bed I saw you all curled up, red-car in one hand and your two beloved blankies clutched in the other. It was as if the blankies represented your babyhood and the toy car represented your childhood -- the two at war with each other. You aren't a baby by any means, but you certainly aren't a full grown child yet. Give it time. You are our first, and that is a special honor. So hang in there my little man. Time if flying by and before too long you and that tiny little baby in the room next door will be joining forces to try and outwit and out-smart Mom and Dad (sigh...not even Mommy and Daddy by that point I imagine...). And you'll be so glad to have that kid on your side.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A Couple of Firsts

I got my first true smile from Holden today. I tickled his lips with my thumb and he looked right into my eyes and his lips curled up into a smile. It was truly delightful. We both ended up grinning at each other with silly smiles. I managed to get another couple of grins out him doing the same thing. It's wonderful to see the interaction from him at last. I mean, there's only so much eat, sleep, poop, and cry you can handle without some sort of reward. And that smile, that tiny little smile, was all the reward I needed.

And now, for some shots from one of his first tub-baths....

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Giving Thanks

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

8:46 PM

8:46 PM. That's what time I went to bed last night. My first day solo with both boys . It was a decent day, but I was exhausted. Jackson decided that it was a good day to boycott a nap, so it did make the day feel longer. I fell asleep while Shawn was putting Holden to bed. I don't even remember him doing so. Of course I was up again at 12:45 (4 hours- way to go baby!), 3:36, and almost felt like a full night's sleep! ALMOST! But we all survived the day, and even day number 2, today. Thankfully Jackson played very hard with his buddy Charlotte this morning so he napped hard as well. And having Charlotte's mama, Carissa, over was a nice sanity check for me, too. Overall, I guess I'm going to do ok with this mom-of-2-kids thing. I'm sure there will bumpy days ahead of us, but making it through the last 48 hours feels like a major accomplishment in itself. Granted I had 5 bites of Mac-n-Cheese and a handful of potato chips for lunch, but I guess figuring out meal times for myself will come in time, too, right?!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Moments of Lucidity

There are moments in my day - as a new mother of two - where everything is very clear and lucid. I feel calm, rested, in control. My boys are both happy and content and the world seems to smile. I even allow a little smugness to sneak in thinking "hey, this isn't so bad! I can manage this just fine!!" Then Holden starts to cry. And Jackson wants my attention - now! I need to feed the baby and the toddler at the same exact time, no easy task mind you. And of course during all this my mom is still here to help, so I'm not even completely on my own yet. But I'm also a bit of an independent soul so I keep pushing mom back a little to see if I can actually do this on my own. Sometimes I can. Sometimes I pass one of the boys off to her in a moment of "weakness." Well, weakness, I'm not sure, but maybe just a little.

We did manage our first official trip to the grocery store to do our Thanksgiving shopping. We are hosting Shawn's family this year. A slightly rough start -- Jackson couldn't decide which car-cart he wanted to ride in -- but I quickly discovered the seatbelt in the blue police car-cart, and we were off. Both boys were amazing. Jackson seemed to recite The Little Einstein's the entire time, snacking on a granola bar and a sugar cookie. Holden slept, happy in his carseat for once. I kept silently thanking God for their good behavior, waiting for the ceiling to fall in on me. But it all went smoothly. We made it back home all in one piece, turkey ready to thaw and my sanity in check! Whew.

But of course Monday is my true test. Mom leaves Sunday and I'll be all alone for the first time with both boys. Hopefully I'll continue having at least moments of lucidity to keep me calm. And Thursday (Thanksgiving) is only a few days later. Daddy will be home for a few days. And for that I'll be truly thankful!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Dangling Chads

When Holden was born, something happened to his nose. We're not sure what exactly, but by the time we left the hospital we realized it had been burned or badly scratched during delivery. Over the 3 days we spent in the hospital it became a big, rather ugly scab. Poor baby! Oh, he also had a 1/2 inch scalpel wound to his head, too! I guess it was such a fast delivery that the poor guy got a little roughed up during surgery. Not that we cared, we were just glad he arrived safe and sound. But his poor little nose made him look a bit like a scarecrow. Well over time the unsightly scab started to fall off. My mom dubbed each little falling off piece of scab a "dangling chad," perhaps in honor of last week's election! Every day another dangling chad would fall off and his adorable, sweet nose eventually began to shine through. Yesterday the final dangling chad fell off my darling little boy's nose. He's now absolutely 100% perfect. He has a precious little button nose to go along with his tiny little ears, his bow shaped mouth, and his big almond eyes. I know, it's a little vain to want such perfection in your child, but now that the last dangling chad has fallen off, I can truly say he is absolute perfection. Ah heck, what am I saying?! He was perfection even before the dangling chads fell off! We are madly in love, dangling chad or not.


After...dangling chad is gone

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Week One & Halloween Good Times!

Holden is a week old today. I know it's just 7 short days, but time has flown! At his doctor's appointment on Monday (day 5 of life!) he was up 2 oz. from his birth weight, topping the scales at 6lbs 14oz! Way to go little man. He is such an affable baby. Or maybe we are just more confident as parents. He eats like a fiend, every 2-3 hours. But at night he occasionally goes 4 hours!! We are so excited by this. He has been up 2-3 times a night, eats, and goes back to sleep. I feel like I need to "knock wood" every time I say what a good sleeper he is because I'm afraid I'll eat those words in a few more weeks or months. But he's just so darn sweet. He rarely cries. In fact, last night after we put Jackson to bed Holden was ready to eat and I guess I was taking too long to get ready for a feeding session. He cried out and I said "I'm coming little man, hang on!" Jackson yells from his room "Mommy! Are you ok??!" It was so sweet. Speaking of Jackson - oh my, he is just an angel. Again, I may eat those words in a few more weeks or months (especially after Shawn goes back to work next week), but he loves his brother. I've not seen a sign of jealousy yet. In fact, he's extra sweet. He pushes a few buttons, but nothing out of the ordinary for a 2 year old. He loves on Holden. And Shawn and I can't quit gushing about what a sweet boy he is. I say it all the time, but man oh man, we are so blessed!

Last night was Halloween. Jackson went as Bob the Builder. In my opinion, he is the cutest Bob ever. He was resistant at first, but once he understood he got treats he was raring to go. He and Shawn hit the 'hood with gusto while Holden and I stayed behind to give out treats to the neighborhood kids. Jackson loved trick-or-treating. He had a ball! We had SO many kids stop by the house - we almost ran out of candy! I love this neighborhood. It is so idyllic and sweet, and I love the family-friendly atmosphere. Jackson's favorite "treat" was a huge white eyeball gumball. He didn't know it was gum (he has no idea what gum is). He just liked throwing it around the house like a ball. It's sticky and gross now, but he loves it. We had a great Halloween. I love my family. Again, I am beyond blessed.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Welcome Holden Charles

Our son is here!

Holden Charles was born October 25, 2006, at 7:13PM via emergency C-section. He weighed 6lbs 12 oz, and was 20.5 inches long. He is a mini-me of my mini-me (looks just like Jackson who looks just like his Daddy). He is perfect and wonderful and we are all madly in love!

On Wednesday the 25th I woke up and told Shawn I was going to have the baby that day. I knew something was going on. I had intense back-pain and stomach cramps, and just felt "off." I had a Dr's appointment already scheduled that morning. She said I was likely in early labor and would have him in the next day or so. The bad news was that he was sunnyside up, so thus, the intense back pain I was feeling. Back labor was in my future. The contractions grew steadily the rest of the day. They were coinciding with my (intense!) back pain, so I knew I was in labor. They climbed steadily from 7 minutes apart to 5 minutes apart, lasting about 45-60 seconds long. Shawn came home around 2PM so I could try and rest. Yeah, right! The contractions were in a definite pattern, but I wasn't sure it was true labor yet. Fortunately Alison, my mother in law, decided to leave work right around 3 so she could beat out the crazy snow storm headed our way. She arrived at 5:00PM, just as I was talking to my Dr. Dr Miller said I should head into the hospital - we were likely ready to go!

It was around 5:45 when we arrived at the hospital. We got into a room and settled around 6:15. The nurse checked me and I was 4 cm (!) dilated and definitely in labor. Woo-hoo! Around 6:45 my Dr broke my water and things were progressing swimmingly. I asked for the epidural, but before it could arrive chaos started in the room. I'm still not 100% certain of the details... The baby's heartrate began to drop dramatically, dipping into the 40's. They were moving me around, trying to get a fetal monitor onto the baby's head, calling for emergency help in our room, etc. It was a complete whirlwind and very scary. Shawn and I were both crying -the Dr handled it beautifully but we knew something wasn't right. They would not say the baby was ok when we asked. They just said "we're working on him, stay calm." In an instant my Dr (who was thankfully on call that night) said we were doing an emergency C-section. They took me back in a matter of seconds, leaving Shawn bewildered in the delivery room. I imagine that was very scary for him to be left alone like that. I have very few memories of those last few moments before being put under. I just recall continually asking if the baby was ok and where my husband was. I didn't get a good answer for either I don't think.

I was knocked out completely at 7:04 PM and Shawn was not allowed in the room. This was very sad for us, and very scary and confusing. At 7:11 they cut me open, and at 7:13 my son was born. I'm AMAZED by how quickly they worked. He came out completely healthy and strong, with apgars of 8/9!! I woke up about 45 minutes later, very upset, but as they began to explain to me what happened I calmed down. Our son was alive. He was taken immediately to Shawn (thank God) and Shawn was able to video his first bath and take pictures of him being weighed and checked out. They had a good bonding session before I woke up. I love that they had that time together. I vaguely remember Shawn bringing Holden to me...but what I do remember is that he was beautiful, and perfect, and within minutes he was latched on and nursing like a champion. I cried at that moment - it was truly a wonderful feeling for me as we did not have as much luck in the early days nursing Jackson.

Apparently when my water broke Holden's cord got pinched by his weight, and it was wrapped around his neck a few times -- essentially, if my water had broken at home, our son might not have made it. He was also sunnyside up, facing sort of off to the side, so it would have made for a very difficult delivery. I'm so thankful my Dr made the call as quickly as she did. She felt badly that I didn't "get" a traditional birth, but I am 100% at peace with what happened because I have this beautiful child to show for it. He is so perfect. He eats beautifully, he sleeps well, he is adorable and wee and overall, he is just perfection. Jackson loves his little brother and wants to hug and kiss and touch him. He was so excited when we got home yesterday. He just kept saying "Baby Holden! Baby Holden!" They are going to be great pals. As I am mostly recovering from my surgery in bed with Holden by my side, Jackson wanders into the room and checks on us, pats Holden's head and says "He has hair! Cootchie-cootchie-coo!" I have no idea where he got this but it is adorable.

The staff at the hospital where I delivered - Sky Ridge Medical Center- were exceptional. They were very attentive, fawned all over Holden and Jackson (and me). We had an OB and pediatrician come by daily to check on us, and the lactation consultants were also wonderful. So even though I'm recovering from a C-section, I have to say so much of this experience was better than what I had with Jackson because of the attention we received and how well cared for we were. I loved my birth experience with Jackson, and am thrilled to have given birth vaginally to him...but I also have not minded the C like I thought I would. I have new respect for any woman who has endured one. They are very rough.

I'm sure I have so much more to say but I really wanted to commit these details to "pen and paper" before I forgot them. My husband and older son are at the grocery store and Holden is asleep at my feet curled up in a boppy. I'm in some minor pain so I should probably rest. We adore our new son and feel even more blessed to have him with us here on earth. God has blessed us doubly with our two gorgeous sons. Our family is now complete.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Dirty Laundry

I'm 38.5 weeks pregnant. I'm miserable. I needed a project to pass the time today while Jackson slept. I could do laundry. But instead, I expressed myself in art (see photo below). Thanks to Diane for the inspiration - I've loved her "I Hate Laundry Rooms" wallpaper since I was a little kid, and have always wanted to reproduce it. Close enough!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


  • 10 minutes searching for boots, hats, mittens, snowsuit
  • 5 minutes struggling to put a size 2T child into a size 18 months snowsuit
  • 7 minutes arguing over the wearing of mittens and hat (guess who loses)
  • 4.5 minutes putting my enormously pregnant self into a pair of snow boots that were hidden in the garage
  • 12 minutes in the snow: shivering hands, sliding on rocks, cold ankles, wet tennis shoes, water and mud all over my clean kitchen
  • Creating the world’s smallest snowman with my two year old…priceless!

Friday, October 13, 2006

"Come back Scoop! Listen to me...stop right now!"

This is the conversation Shawn and I just overheard our 28 month old son say to his Bob the Builder Scoop truck. It rang a little too close to home. Replace "Scoop" with "Jackson" and you have me yelling after our son at the park this afternoon. "Come back Jackson! Listen to me...stop right now!" Whew. They learn fast don't they? One day he's a baby babbling nonsensical words and the next day he's mocking me in imaginary play. It's amazing what a little sponge he has become. I guess I should be thankful that we've managed (so far) to keep any choice curse words out of his mouth. That is, until the next time one of us stubs a toe or breaks a dish. Then I expect Scoop might become more of a potty mouth.
Note to Shawn and I: Keep our tongues in check! This kid's on to us....

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


My sisters have always told me I'm too emotional. They are probably right. But I'm wired this way, for 33 years, and ain't noth'n changing. I'm so emotional today. Everything is making me cry. I guess I'm just ready for him to be here, safe and sound. I'm ready to find out how Jackson is going to respond. I'm scared. I'm hopeful. I'm excited. I know our lives, once again, are going to change and never be the same. The anticipation of it all is getting to me. I think I'm more worried about Jackson than anything. We are buds. We spend all day every day together and it's just the two of us. We have fun and pal around and I can't imagine it not just being the two of us. I think it will be hard to share myself. I know it will be hard on him. I just hope and pray that he'll adapt easily to being a cool big brother. He talks about the baby a lot, pats my tummy, goes and looks at the baby's room and swing and says "when baby comes!" But I know when the baby actually does come, my sweet little man is going to have his world rocked. And it makes me cry. Everything makes me cry. Damn these hormones!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


THIS is what they mean by "nesting" when you are close to delivering. Oh my gracious! I can't stop organizing, cleaning, cooking, and "nurturing." I didn't have this with Jackson. Or maybe we were just more prepared. Or maybe it was because I was put on bedrest and couldn't do all this. But all the sudden in the last couple of weeks I feel like I have so much to do and so little time. I've washed all the baby clothes. The nursery is completely done. The carseat is installed (thanks honey). Swing and stroller are assembled (thanks again honey). Diapers are ready. Linens are washed. Pump and bottles are sterilized. Hall closet with meds, towels, sheets, toilet paper and batteries is stocked. Yard is aerated and fertilized. I have a list of a dozen meals I can prepare in the next week from the contents of my freezer, fridge and pantry (and I NEVER have a full pantry - but I do now!). I made two lasagnas today, one for tonight, one for the freezer. I keep baking cookies, brownies and cakes for reasons that escape me. I have 4 kinds of ice-cream in the freezer, when really I should just have none! I've bought most of our Christmas presents. I know what I'm getting everyone who has a birthday between now and New Year's. I've made a list of preschools to visit this winter to prepare for Jackson's first day of 12 more months. Every room in the house is completely organized. Emergency numbers are programmed into the phone. Hospital bag is just about ready to go. My hair is cut and colored and my toes are painted (have to look pretty when you are pushing out a watermelon, right?!?). Whew! I seriously can't think of another thing that needs to be done. Except of course, maybe actually giving birth this baby. Come out, come out wherever you are! We are least, I think we are....

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Pumpkin Pick'n

Today we took Jackson to the Castle Rock Garden Center where they set up a pumpkin patch and some cute attractions for kids. It was grey and misty and reminded us of pumpkin pickin' in Seattle. Except this was a garden center so we didn't have to drudge through muck and mud like we would at say Barringer farms back home. I like this way of picking pumpkins better. Especially since I'm 9 months pregnant with a pumpkin of my own. Jackson had a ball. He wanted to buy every pumpkin they had, and tried to pick each one up. They also had a corn maze, haunted house and jumpy castle. He really liked the jumpy castle. He fell in love with a cute little 3 year old girl in the jumpy castle , who, according to him, was a "funny kid!" We finished the afternoon off with grilled cheese sandwiches, soup and a nap. This may be one of our last few weekends as a family of three and we loved every minute of it.
click on image to see larger

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Popsicles for Breakfast

We asked Jackson what he wanted for breakfast this morning. "Popsicles!" he replied. We reminded him we don't have popsicles for breakfast and he could have waffles, toast, or cereal. he settled, begrudgingly, for waffles.

An hour or so later Shawn and I were both upstairs getting ready for the day. We could hear The Wiggles from downstairs so we knew Jackson was entertained. Suddenly he yelled up the stairs that he needed to go outside. I went to the foot of the stairs, looked down at my angelic little boy in his fireman pajamas, and noticed a big red popsicle in his hand. I wanted to reprimand him, but I couldn't stop laughing. Neither could Shawn. Jackson just insisted he needed to go outside -- because that is where we eat popsicles. Naturally. Apparently he had climbed into the freezer, taken out a single red popsicle from the box, closed the freezer, unwrapped it, and enjoyed! I'm sure I should have taken it from him but instead Shawn went outside to the steps and he happily ate his popsicle. We are still chuckling over it. And I've moved the popsicles to a higher shelf in the freezer.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

my little buck'n bronco

Our nursery for baby boy #2!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

babies and boobies

He's confused. Jackson that is. He seems to think my breasts are the baby. He alternates patting my belly and my boobs. Granted, they are enormous - both belly and boobs. Ugh. But it's getting silly to walk down the grocery store aisle with him in the front seat patting my chest and saying "baby!" Finally, exasperated, I pointed first to my stomach and said "baby!" and then pointed to my breasts and said "boobies!" I probably should have used the appropriate term - breasts. But whatever, he gets it now. And he thinks it's hilarious! He points to my stomach and says "baby!" then to my chest and says "boobies!" At that point he cracks up into a fit of laughter. At least I amuse him.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Baby in his tummy

Jackson said to me the other day "I have a baby in my tummy."
"Oh you do!?" I replied.
"Yes, baby in my tummy!" he exclaimed again.
I was intrigued. Wanting to find out a little more I asked "What kind of baby?"
His response "A blue baby!"
Wow. Someone alert Ripley's, my 2 year old son has a blue baby in his tummy...and a very active imagination. What a kick.

Side note: 35 weeks. I'm so ready for the baby in MY tummy to arrive!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006


I have a knack for remembering dates. It comes from years of being a journal writer that dates get seared into my memory. Most of the time that is a positive - I always remember Shawn's birthday, the anniversary of our first date and our wedding, the day we found out we were pregnant with Jackson and the day he was due, and of course now the day we are due with our 2nd son - 38 more days to go! But today I remembered a date that sort of came upon me unawares. I woke up sullen and couldn't figure out why, then as I peered at the calendar I realized it. Today was my due date for the baby I miscarried over 3 years ago. Maybe it's silly to remember that when I have a precocious little two year old running around, and another one on the way. But it doesn't seem fair not to honor that baby as well - however brief that life was.

We saw a tiny heartbeat at 7 weeks. 3 weeks later my first baby left my life. But in actuality that angel will live on in my two beautiful boys. I am honored that baby chose me, however briefly, to be his carrier and mother. And I am honored that with his passing came my amazing son Jackson, and soon to be here 2nd son, Holden.

I would have a three year old... I still get very much overwhelmed by what "could have been" but I truly can't even imagine my life without my precious two year old - what a gift. Jackson - he is the greatest gift my lost baby gave to me. I can only imagine that child would have had Jackson's same sparkly blue eyes, toe-head blond hair, and witty personality. So maybe, just maybe, remembering those dates isn't so bad afterall. It reminds me how blessed we are and how far we've come.


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Two Trains and a Firetruck

  1. Jackson's new firetruck shoes - they light up when he walks! And yes, he has an enormous foot. Size 9.5!!!
  2. We rode the Royal Gorge train with Nana. Jackson was in heaven!
  3. At last we have put up Grandpa's Lionel train in Jackson's bedroom. It has a place of honor on a high up shelf. I can hear Jackson in the early morning hours talking about Grandpa's train. It is a very special part of Jackson's bedroom.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Sunday Dinner

When I was growing up my mom (or my Granny if we were in Floydada) made Sunday dinner every single Sunday after church, without fail. That is unless we talked her into going out to eat, which was seldom. I wish now I'd relished those home-cooked meals a little more when I was a kid. The all time favorite at our house was fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy. So delish! Of course being the health-conscious generation that we are, I rarely if ever fry foods at home. Occasionally I'll pan fry fish, but that's about it. Well earlier this week I decided I was going to make my family a full-fledged Sunday dinner with all the trimmings. We are heathens and don't go to church, but the least I could do was make a homemade Sunday dinner!

Shawn took Jackson for a long bike ride while I poured over my Martha Stewart Fried Chicken 101 recipe. I had soaked the chicken in milk and red-hot overnight. It was a fairly easy recipe to follow, though I stuck to breasts only. They fried beautifully, and actually absorbed far less vegetable oil than I expected. I boiled and mashed the potatoes with a little butter and milk. Steamed some broccoli with sharp cheddar melted on top. Crescent rolls were popped in the oven (ok those weren't homemade, but everything else was). And of course, made delicious, creamy gravy from the drippings. Very Southern Living if you ask me.

In just about an hour I had completed what took my mom probably 30 minutes. But it smelled and looked just like hers, and I was beyond proud of myself. Shawn and Jackson made it home from their ride just as I was finishing the gravy. Perfect. And it was! The meal was perfect and delicious, and made me more than just a little nostalgic for home. Of course we still ate in 15 minutes or less because we have a rambunctious 2 year old. But man, that was one fine Sunday dinner! We'll have to work on the church side though.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


It is you, my little one, who brings me laughter every day. I am blessed by your life. I am blessed by your soul. You are my joy.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


I'm feeling rather old today. Or maybe just nostalgic. I was suddenly reminded that it was 10 years ago today that Ruth and I boarded a plane for London to begin our 9 month European adventure. I can't t imagine taking that journey without Ruth by my side.

Was I scared to move to a country thousands of miles from home, with only a few hundred dollars in my pocket? No! For some crazy reason I was on a fearless mission. I wanted to see the world, experience life, find out who I was, gain some distance from that little municipality called Lubbock, Texas. In my time there I became this woman I never knew existed - strong and independent. Navigating the London streets, living in our flat share in Oval, getting a job at Fortnum & Mason, and discovering art and music and theatre and life in a way I never knew existed. All on my own. Or at least all alone with Ruth.

I have so many incredible memories from my monthshs spent abroad, running through the London streets with Ruth, discovering that ancient yet modern capital city. I met so many remarkable individuals who touched my life and made me a better person for having known them. We ventured to the theatre every single week, without fail. We discovered wonderful little pubs to hunker down in and laugh the night away - especially DeHemme's, our pub of choice. We danced until the wee hours of the morning at night clubs like Bar Sol Ona, where we pretended we knew how to Salsa. We enjoyed lazy afternoons sipping cup after cup of tea in our favorite coffee house, Sante, or taking in a movie in Leicester Square on a rainy Sunday after a visit to Camden market. And of course, visiting the typical tourist spots when time allowed. But really we lived like locals and experienced a London most visitor's do not. It felt so bohemian.

I am so in love with that amazing city that it's hard to sum up the emotions I have over my time there. But this picture sums it up for me in many ways. Ruth and me, running around on a random London street. Probably on our way to a pub, or perhaps a museum or gallery, or maybe just out for a brisk city stroll. But that red double-decker bus, the wet paved stones and gray sky, and the buoyant attitude, well it sums up our time there. We are happy and free. Just two 20-something gals out for an adventure -- and what an adventure we had!

10 years. Wow, wherever has the time gone?!

Friday, September 01, 2006


As I've said before, some days are just hard. I'm pretty sure yesterday equates to my most difficult day yet with my two year old.

Background - Jackson has a newfound fear of bees. And for 3 nights in a row he has woken up crying that bees are in his room. I finally "expelled" the bees with some Fabreeze a few nights ago. I also explained to him that bees are our friends, they make honey and our flowers grow, and they don't hurt us if we don't hurt them. Oh, and that they are just like butterflies and ladybugs which he doesn't seem to mind. So by night 3 I think the bees are gone. However, the effects of 3 nights of lost sleep are not gone.

By yesterday he was a total wreck. Beyond sleep deprived. Cranky. Bleary eyed. An all around unpleasant child. At playgroup he threw fit after fit, complete with hitting, scratching (those are some long nails!), and even biting. Me that is, not the other kids. He was mad about so many things I can't even list them. He was just mad! And believe me, so was his mother. Finally, after just 30 minutes at the park with my friends and their kiddos, we packed it up and went home. I had to sit in the car with the music turned up just to try and regain my sense of composure before I could drive. I can't believe a 2 year old can beat me up like that! I kept thinking "where have we gone wrong with him???!!"

He was asleep within minutes of being home -- and it was 2 hours before his usually nap time! When he awoke he became my adorable and charming son. We had a great afternoon playing and reading and even watching his new movie Lisa sent him. BUT by the time Daddy got home he was overtired again, cranky, screaming, etc. I told Shawn "yep, this was my morning!" It was a nightmare. Honestly, I just didn't want to be around my son any longer. We were not enjoying his company, and he sure as heck wasn't enjoying ours. I put him to bed at 7:30. He had a couple wake-ups during the night (as did his brother, bopping around in my womb like it was a fun house), but slept until 7:30 this morning. Thankfully.

Today, my son is a dream child. Thank you God! He was a perfect angel even at the grocery store. He went down for his nap without a scene. He was sweet, charming and loving, and restored my faith that maybe we aren't doing something wrong. Maybe he just had a bad day. I certainly did. But today is a new day, and he's my sweetie pie again. I'll take it when I can get it.

Oh, and I cut his nails.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Crib Bumper

I shouldn't be weepy.

But I am.

I am putting together Holden's room (by the way, we're naming him Holden... we think) and the crib bumper has me weepy. This is the same crib bumper that was on Jackson's crib up until about 5 months ago when he learned how to climb out of it. I never removed it when he was an infant like all the "experts" tell you to. In fact, I finally removed it when I suspected he was using it as the added leverage to climb out. He was not. He's just an acrobat.

So just a few short months later we're putting the crib back together again. On goes the mattress pad. The chambry-red sheets from PBK. The chambry-blue bedskirt from the same collection. And of course, the adorable matching crib bumper that Shawn and I picked out over 2-1/2 years ago for our first born. It is red, blue, green, yellow and tan - like a patchwork quilt. It is precious. But mostly it is just symbolic of our early naivete at what it would be like to have a baby. It was so much more than that - so much harder, so much more exhausting, so much more fulfilling, so much more life changing -than ever we could have expected. And now, here we are doing it all over again with boy #2. And I'm weepy. Silly pregnant woman. It's going to be so much harder, so much more exhausting, so much more fulfilling, and so much more life changing than Shawn, Jackson, or I ever expected. Oh, and Holden, too.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I miss

I miss being comfortable
I miss my waistline
I miss sleeping all night long
I miss sharing a pillow with my husband
I miss running after Jackson
I miss normal clothing
I miss drinking liquids after 7PM
I miss holding my son in my lap when I read to him
I miss dancing to the Wiggles (seriously)
I miss red wine
I miss French fries
I miss seeing my feet

In a few more months...
I will miss feeling this precious baby inside my tummy
I will miss his flips and flops
I will miss eating ice-cream every night
I will miss sleeping. period.
I will miss the anticipation of what is to come
I will miss being pregnant for the last time.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Grammy's Song

My son knows something that neither I nor his father taught him. That is an exciting but somewhat sobering discovery - he's growing up so fast! The other day I started to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to him. He joined in and sang the rest of the song without my prompting. He's 27 months old, how does he know that song?? I'd never sung it to him before. I said "did Daddy teach you that song?" He said "noooo!" with a sly grin. So I said "who taught you that song?" "Grammy!" he replied happily. Still not believing him, I asked Shawn that night if he had taught him that song and he said "No! In fact, the other day I sang it to him for the 1st time and he knew the words! I thought you taught him!?" Nope, it was Grammy! I was shocked.
My mom visits every couple of months, and the two of them have a great time. She was just here a few weeks ago, and I'm guessing she sang that song to him and he picked it up. I don't recall it. I'm so proud of him and so happy he's bonding so well with his Grammy. He seems quite fond of her (who wouldn't be?!) as he can name almost every toy or trinket she's ever given him. That's LOVE to a toddler!! Somehow, despite the odds, Mom has figured out little boys. She was one of 3 girls, she had 3 daughters of her own, and also has 4 granddaughters! Jackson is the one and only boy (until the baby arrives that is). So kudos to mom for teaching Jackson that song. And kudos to my boy, who is growing up before my very eyes. I love you both.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Email to my husband

Dear Shawn. I stole your t-shirt. It's too hot. I'm too big. I can't imagine slithering into anything that touches my skin. So I am wearing one of your plain, white t-shirts. I couldn't bear the idea of your sweatstains (sorry!) so I am wearing one of the brand new ones I just bought you. I'm sorry. I'll buy you 10 more (with your money of course). It is lovely. Like wearing nothing at all. I look ridiculous - it's huge on me. I'm definitely by far the sexiest pregnant woman you've ever been married to. Seriously dude, you are SOOOOOO lucky to have me! Oh, and I have boob sweat.

Love you!

ps - one more oh -- your son was a pain in the bum at the pool today. God love 'im. If he wasn't so damn cute, I'd sell him. kidding. sort of. have a good afternoon.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


I should keep better track of Jackson's milestones. Seriously. I'm a scrapbooker for Pete's sake, I need to remember this stuff. So here's what's new with you little man:

  • You can speak in full sentences (though you do still babble and I do have to interpret sometimes)
  • You can do every single activity at Monkey Bizness, including the tall slide, without help
  • You can sing songs - your faves include "The Moon Song" and anything by The Wiggles
  • You like Johnny Cash as well
  • You run faster than any other kid we know
  • You can benchpress your father (well, not really, but almost)
  • You love milk and cheese and yogurt
  • You also love pineapple (pronounced peanut-apple)
  • You sometimes ask to sit on the potty
  • You have never actually pottied in the potty
  • You sleep through the night 92% of the time
  • You are a great napper (3 hours!)
  • Your best buddies include: Owen, Charlotte, Jack and Aiden - you know all their names and recognize their houses
  • You know who all your Grandparents are, even if they live far away
  • You are an excellent ball player - basketball, soccer, football and golf
  • Your favorite books are: Green Eggs and Ham, the book from the movie Cars, The Case of the Missing Peanuts (Mickey Mouse), Colors and Shapes
  • Your favorite TV Shows are: Bob the Builder, Little Einsteins, The Wiggles, Higglytown Heroes, and the John Henkes books put to DVD (Chrysanthemum, Wendell, Owen)
  • You adore trucks, trains, balls, boats, and all things "boy"
  • You love to swim at the neighborhood pool
  • You are afraid of bugs
  • You kiss mommy's tummy that has baby brother inside
  • You are a total Daddy's boy
  • You are two, and you totally know it!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Lunch Date

When Jackson was a newborn and I was on maternity leave (before I was a full time SAHM) he and I used to go have lunch dates with Shawn during the work week. I'd dress my little bundle up in one of his many adorable 0-3 month outfits, give him a good nursing, and then we'd head off to the office. Shawn would tote him around to all the ladies in his office They would ooohh and awww over him, and the proud parents would puff up like peacocks. We'd then slip away to lunch at Blue Star Cafe down the street. Jackson would fall asleep (too much milk, too much cooing) and we'd enjoy a leisurely lunch of grilled sandwiches and French fries. All the while admiring how adorable our little baby was.

Fast forward 2 years.

Now I *occasionally* brave trudging into Denver traffic with my rambunctious two year old for lunch with his Daddy. It takes us forever to get into the car for whatever reason -- a last minute explosion diaper to clean up (followed by an "I'm done pooping!" quote from my 1st born) was today's delay. I heave my big old pregnant body into the car along with my 30 pound toddler, and we head into traffic. Usually I'm 10 minutes late from when I told Shawn we'd meet him. We swing by his office. We don't bother going inside, Shawn meets us outside. We race to the nearest deli and order quickly. No time to think, just order the first thing you see. Within 2 minutes of sitting down Jackson is usually covered in grilled cheese or nuggets or ketchup and is begging for milk. He eats in exactly 4 minutes flat while Shawn and I shovel our own food into our mouths at a furious pace. Few words are spoken. No time. Must eat. Lunch is complete when Jackson's clothes are covered in something dark and sticky (today was free chocolate chip cookie day at Heidi's) and often a drink is spilled. No matter, these clothes have long been ruined by his messes. We are done eating in 15 minutes max. We feel it was a success if 1/2 of what we ordered for him makes it into his mouth. Perhaps that is why he is so skinny!?!?

Our days of leisurely lunches admiring our adorable newborn are O-V-E-R. Poor baby boy #2, he'll likely never know what going to meet Daddy for lunch is. I can't even imagine trying to do this lunch date thing with two boys in tow!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


I heard the door to the powder bath shut and little feet scampering away. I knew he was into some mischief and I was ready with my game face to place some blame. He has a fondness for putting things in the toilet and I knew that was on his agenda. As he skidded around the corner he came face to face with me. We had a bit of a stare-down -- me with my hands on my hips and my "what did you do?!" face and him with the look of complete angel innocence.

me: "Jackson, what did you do in that bathroom?!" (asked sternly and with emphasis on "you")

He looked at me quizzically. softly. and replied: "Put the raisin in the trash."

And with that he was off, into the living room to look for his trucks. I looked into the bathroom trash and low and behold was a single shriveled raisin in the bottom of the trashcan. I had jumped to a conclusion, and it was a wrong one at that. Shame on me. My son was as sweet and innocent as could be. Well, this time.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Summer Adventures

Check out our summer adventures!
(click picture above)

Monday, July 31, 2006

Aunt Kimi

Jackson and Aunt Kimi, love at first dance

Friday, July 28, 2006


Happy Anniversary my love....

Friday, July 21, 2006

Rainy Day

Thursday, July 20, 2006


My name is Amy, and I am a reformed "anal retentive freak." Yep, I admit it. Before we had kids Shawn and I almost prided ourselves on how anal retentive, neat, and tidy we were. Everything in our home had a place. Dust didn't linger for longer than an hour on most surfaces. Our fridge looked like it was a showroom model. My clothing was unstained and ironed. Meals were served in our immaculate dining room, on good dishes, and food remained on said dishes - not on the floor. For Heaven's sake, we had a rug on our dining room floor! Fastforward 2 years. My how a toddler changes everything! Before Jackson could walk, and when I was still working, we maintained our sense of anality. Ask anyone, we were a little bit over the top. But ever since he learned to walk/talk/run/destruct, all bets are off. I'm reformed! I have to be, I have no choice. I forget to dust surfaces for weeks, sometimes months at a time. There is a layer on my blinds that likely I'll never attempt to remove. The tile floor has specks of food, drink, drool and playdough ground into the grout. Lovely. Every single shirt I own is stained. We traded in our cherry wood dining set for a farmhouse table that Jackson can bang "The Star Spangled Banner" on with a fork and I don't care. My fridge is a science experiment. Bug stickers are regularly attached to my shoes, butt, forearm -- and not on purpose. Our artwork has been replaced with crayola colorings of "The Little Einsteins." And you know what, I love it! At times I have to restrain myself from vacuuming after every meal (and sometimes I still do), but otherwise I have let it go. I have other things to fret over. I have towers to build with legos, and wooden trains arriving at Sodar station any minute now. I have cheese, apples, and turkey dogs to cut up. Milk to pour. Laundry to fold - even if it is stained. But most importantly I have a two year old (and a baby-to-be) to smother with love and attention and games and hugs. So that is where the priorities have shifted. And it feels pretty freeing to be able to run a finger along the dusty shelf and laugh it off without running for the Swiffer.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Bottle this feeling

I know that this is my last baby. We have always known it was going to be 2 children for us, no matter what genders we were blessed with. So I'm trying to hold onto this precious feeling for as long as I can. My last pregnancy. Certainly there are things about pregnancy that I don't like - nausea, weight gain, exhaustion, and constipation (sorry!). But there are things I just adore, and wish I could "bottle" up to hold onto forever. I love my bump! I think it's so cute. It's not a little basketball bump that is so coveted by moms-to-be, but I like mine just fine. It's round and bulges just ever so slightly to the left, where little man likes to hang out most of the time. I love talking about the baby, wondering who he will take after (like there's any true question), and asking Jackson what he thinks about having a brother. But most of all I love the feeling of movement. I think it is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. It's exhilarating. I love feeling him flip and flop and kick and punch. So far it isn't too hard, so I may retract that statement in another month or so. But for now it is so miraculous and amazing to know that a little human being is growing inside me. He gets into a comfy spot and hangs out there for awhile, then moves around trying to get comfy again -- just like his Daddy at night. During the day we are so busy running around that I rarely notice him. But at night, when Jackson is in bed and Shawn and I are just hanging out, he comes out to play. We play a game - I push into a side of my tummy, he kicks back at me. Already I know he's a playful one. He settles down after about an hour or two of kicking and cocoons into my left side for the night. A few more modest kicks and jabs, maybe a tiny tickle with his toes, and he sleeps. I just so wish I could memorize and save that feeling forever. It is precious. And I will miss it when he joins us in the big, bright world that awaits him.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Some days are just hard

I know no other way to phrase it than that. Some days are just hard. Some days I feel I'm barely keeping my head above water. Some days I want to bang my head against a wall. Some days I do. Some days I wish I was sitting in my old office, drinking a diet coke, and gossiping with Jen. Some days are bad days (or maybe bad weeks!). Some days I think my neighbors are going to call Child Protective Services on me! I know, plenty of moms with multiple children would shake their heads at me and say "you should try two!" or three, or four, or five, or whatever. But for now, just one is taking it's toll on me. He's two. I get it. He's rambunctious, wild, and has little self control. But that doesn't make it any easier. I want to cry from frustration from all his hitting bouts as of late. It makes me feel like I'm failing. Like I'm the one doing something wrong. Oh, I know I'm not. I know most kids go through this...but when the heck is mine gonna out grow it??? And don't get me started on how he loves to mischievously run down the side walk to escape me when we are in the front yard! I'm hot, I'm pregnant, I'm angry. I sling him over my shoulder (I bet I can bench press more than Shawn these days, ha ha), and march him in the house. That is where my paranoia of the neighbors calling CPS comes from! sigh...

So I sit her, trying to grasp when and where my week went wrong and I can't lay my finger on it. It has just been an off week for us. We've had moments of true joy - he was an absolute angel at my doctor's appointment on Tuesday. And I bragged how great he did. Then Wednesday and today he has let go a demon I didn't know existed. That's what it is, I got too sure of myself. Bragged on his good behavior. And low and behold the demon made his presence known. Whew... Here's to better days ahead. I love you kid. But some days are just hard.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Jackson's got a truck on his head

We're big Laurie Berkner fans in our house. She's a great children's entertainer, but not so annoying that we adults can't rock out to her now and again, too. Her songs are catchy and intelligent - well, most of them are anyway. I have a girlfriend who every time she calls me she sings me a chorus from one of Laurie's CDs. We got her daughter the DVD/CD for her birthday and apparently they are big fans now, too! One of her best songs (in my honest opinion) is "Pig on her head."
A sampling of the lyrics:
Laurie's got a pig on her head
Laurie's got a pig on her head
Laurie's got a pig on her head And she keeps it there all day
What does a pig say? oink, oink!
Brian has a dog on his head
Brian has a dog on his head
Brian has a dog on his head And he keeps it there all day
What does a dog say? woof, woof! ......
Everybody put your hands on your head
Everybody put your hands on your head
Everybody put your hands on your head And keep them there all day
....Clap your hands clap clap your hands Clap your hands clap clap your hands Clap your hands clap clap your hands Clap clap clap awayyyyyyy

Catchy, eh? I was reminded of this song today when I went to check on Jackson during nap-time. He was sound asleep. With a large plastic dump truck on his head. And a rocket ship in his hand. He was obviously playing before he fell asleep. And I mean seconds before he fell asleep. The truck was laying on his head, his hand still gripping the front bumper. The rocket ship was mid-flight. I mean, his hand was slightly raised as if he had been launching the rocket (over the truck I guess?) and he conked out mid-take-off. And so I've been singing "Jackson's got a truck on his head, Jackson's got a truck on his head, and he keeps it there all day!" Actually, I did remove the truck from his head, and the rocket ship from his hand. But I've still got that song filtering through my head.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Lightening doesn't strike twice...

Lightening doesn't strike twice... well, it doesn't strike the same place twice. But it can strike the same individuals twice. For the 2nd time we've been struck and had a casualty. The first time, last year, we lost our computer and printer. It was fairly new. Very sad. Lesson learned (so we thought) - if you are going to living Colorado, you need to have really good surge protectors. Really good. OK, moving forward a year. We have moved. We are careless. We plugged our TV and DVD player in the minute we moved into the new house. Didn't think twice about it. We separated it from our stereo system because they are now stored in separate areas. So the stereo (Shawn's 2nd pride and joy next to Jackson) had the surge protector. You can see where this is going, right? A week ago the storms started. Thankfully. We have desperately needed the rain. I said to Shawn "we should get a surge protector for the TV soon." Two days later we are struck by lightening again. The house lit up like a Christmas tree! Jackson was a little freaked out- we all were. We lost the TV and the DVD player. Then our thermostat started smoking. Needless to say, we called the fire department. We explained it wasn't an emergency, yet 8 minutes later 2 firetrucks and a cop car came screeching up to our house. The house we've lived in less than 4 months. By this point, Jackson was ecstatic! He LOVES firetrucks. The men did their thing, checked the house from top to bottom. Nothing was awry. They did say we did the right thing by calling -- the same thing had happened the day before and an attic caught fire. Whew! An hour later the firetrucks rolled away, giving Jackson a high that lasted well beyond what should have been bedtime. The next day we got a new thermostat. It's July, we need the A/C!

This weekend we will begrudgingly purchase a new TV and DVD player...and a really, really good surge protector.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Remembering you small

This morning I'm remembering Jackson as an infant. I mean really an infant. Newborn. I guess having this other little boy inside me is making me nostalgic for that baby stage. Good thing since it's about to hit us full force in a few more months!

Jackson, you were so beautiful, the moment you were born. Everyone said so. You just didn't look like a newborn usually does - squished and redfaced. OK, maybe a little redfaced, like a little old man, but still, beautiful. We were in such awe of you. We still are. I can hardly believe that another little boy is going to be joining our family soon. It's hard for me to grasp that he's not going to be you. Odd, I know. I guess once he gets here it will seem more "real" and your personas will separate. You will both have these little individual personalities. And you two, well, I think you'll become the best of friends. I hope so. And I hope he's as beautiful and dear as you were as an infant -- and still are. Well, truly, how could he not be?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The Beach

My favorite moment of our recent trip to our "home" city of Seattle was seeing our son at the beach. We took it for granted when we lived there, and now, we miss it. The moment we drove up to Golden Gardens - where we held our wedding rehearsal dinner just 5 years go - Jackson shrieks out "The beach! The beach!" It was a golden moment, to be certain. He then proceeds to run past the colorful playground area straight to the waters edge. I had smartly put water shoes on him but did not expect him to plop his hiney into the frigid Pacific waters. But that is precisely what he did. Plop! Clothes and all. He loved the cool water running over his legs. The waves lapping at the shore. The seagulls screeching hello. The kids playing in the sand in bathing suits and pull-over sweatshirts. That's the Pacific Northwest. And I miss it. We all do. Yes, home is here now I suppose, and it's a good life to be certain. But seeing my son so at home on the beach, it makes me have to wonder...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Seattle Trip 2006

Good night Seattle, we love you!

Click to see pics from our trip!

Peas in a row

J hates vegetables. Hates them. When he was a baby he loved them - carrots, peas, sweet potatoes, anything green or orange and mashed up to a puree. He ate it up! We look back at some of his old baby pictures and he has an orange tinted face in a lot of them from the carrots and sweet potatoes. But, sigh, he grew up. He just simply won't eat them. A fleck of a green spice in a dish sends him into a tizzy. It's disconcerting. I only comfort myself with the knowledge that he loves fruit and tomatoes, so I know he's getting some vitamins. Occasionally I do try and sneak in veggies where I can - spinach in spaghetti sauce, peas in mac-n-cheese, etc. Yesterday I tried the pea in noodles sneak. He was so on to me. I put the plate down in front of him, nonchalantly, and walked away. He stared at it. Stared at me. Looked back at the plate. "PEAS?!" he hollered in confusion. As if to say "how dare you taint my beloved orange noodles (organic mind you) with this green concoction, blast you woman!" I picked a few out, but this did not satisfy him. He proceeded to pick out every single pea and line them up on a napkin on the table. No, actually, at first he started picking them up and throwing them. But I put the napkin down and informed him it was for the peas. He obliged, putting them all neatly in a row on the napkin. Hey, at least the kid's got manners!

Friday, June 16, 2006



Two little boys
Who are 17 months old
Two little boys
Who love to run and climb
Two little boys
Who share the same serious expression
Two little boys
Who look like they are twins
Two little boys
Who were born 31 years apart
Two little boys
Who are Father and Son

I adore these two boys

Happy Father's day to my sweet husband whose son bears an uncanny resemblance.
And to my own Dad in Texas - hope it's a wonderful day and I'm thinking of you!! xo