Despite the joys of the holiday season, it has been a difficult past week. My sweet Granny - my Mom's mother - passed away last Sunday evening at the age of 92. She was very frail, and it was a peaceful passing. But very sad nonetheless. She was a beautiful, intelligent and loving woman, and I know that my sisters and I, as well as my cousins near and far, are all so fortunate that we were chosen to be her grandchildren. The funeral was a lovely ceremony celebrating her life and what a good, dear woman she was. And she really was. There were a lot of shared stories, laughter and tears amongst our family - siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. It was amazing - my parents have been divorced for 25 years, Dad has been remarried for 23. But my Dad mourned Granny's passing as well. He adored my Granny - everyone who knew here did. I saw my parents embrace and cry together. My stepmother was so kind and understanding - even watching Jackson and my nieces during the service while my Dad sat with our family. What a testament to my parents and their strength. I feel honored they are all three my folks.
Me and my 2.5 year old and my 8 week old made the drive from Colorado to Texas for the service. It was a 10 hour car ride with stops for nursing, gas and food. I was a bit frazzled by journey's end, to say the least, as were the boys. But I was very glad to be in the embrace of family. I was so glad to see Mom, - who has been my Granny's caretaker for 20 years. As well as my sisters, nieces, Dad, stepmother, and many more. My mom is my hero, she was so strong during the week's events. I am in awe of her strength. I think she had made her peace the day Granny left us - she told her it was OK for her to go, that we would all be fine and that she taught us well -- and within a few hours she was gone.
Sleep for me and the boys was really difficult. I'm not all that certain I managed it all very well. I couldn't have done it without my sister's there to help me, that is for sure. In addition, because of the crazy blizzard in Colorado, we were not able to return to Colorado the day we planned. As much as I love my family, I wanted to be home. I missed Shawn. I didn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time every night we were there. Holden, Jackson and I are all in one room so when Holden woke up to eat, Jackson woke up, too. It was a pretty stressful week. My sisters, as I mentioned, were a wonderful help, but they couldn't nurse my newborn at night, nor comfort my 2.5 year old at 3 in the morning when he was unsure where he was. Top that with being in an unfamiliar environment for both of them, Jackson's lingering croup, and Holden catching a cold, and well, I felt like I was barely hanging on to be honest. This was my most challenging moment as a parent to be certain.
But eventually we were able to make the long drive home, just in time for Christmas. I said good-bye to my family, and a final good-bye to my Granny, and we were off. The drive home was easier for some reason, perhaps because the boys were both so worn out that they slept a lot. I came home to my husband and my father in law, who got to see Holden for the first time. We had a quiet Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together, our first with our new son Holden. Jackson loved opening presents and seemed to really have a ball with it all. Perhaps he had too much fun - it was a little overwhelming for him by morning's end. The snow made it feel very snugly and Christmas-like.
Despite the craziness of the trip, and the very unfortunate circumstances that brought us all together, I am so glad I got to see my family before the holiday. I am glad that many who hadn't met Holden got to finally see hour precious boy. And they got to see our growing and rambunctious toddler as well. Despite all the challenges of the week, it was a lovely visit home. I hope my Granny was smiling down on us all together. I am sure she was.
My Granny with us 3 girls, sometime in the early '80's