Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Exhaustion

How can I be so tired when in truth I sleep 7-8 hours a night most nights - minus getting up to pee a couple times a night? I'm just flat out tired! I've been blaming this little fetus for being so tired, but I'm starting to think it's my toddler that is making me exhausted, not the fetus! I wish I could reserve all the energy I use in saying "Jackson come here. Jackson, no! Jackson, get in your carseat. Jackson, put away your balls. your toys. your blocks. Get your blankies. your sippie. your pants. Put on a jacket. Put on your shoes. No we can't go outside yet. No we can't go inside yet. No. No. No!" If I could bottle that up I could make a little extra dough. Then I'd hire someone to clean my house. My child. My closets! But alas, I just remain a continuous broken record, and...tired. I suppose it comes with the territory. I just have to wonder, how am I going to manage two?!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Mambo No. 5

On the way home from our playdate today, the song Mambo No. 5 came on the radio. This was a one-hit-wonder from the late 90's. It's by Lou Bega. Really catchy, bop around kind of song. The kind of song they play at weddings between YMCA and The Macerena. Anyway, it totally makes you want to dance. So I was sort of bopping in my seat as I drove, grooving my expanding little belly back and forth. I look back and Jackson is totally jamming in his carseat. I have one of those kid-mirrors that lets you look into the backseat while you drive. He's moving back and forth, shaking his head to the rhythm. The song says something about throwing your arms in the air, so he does this and shouts out "arms in the air!" I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face. I so wish I'd gotten it all on camera. It was a priceless moment of my little man getting totally caught up in a grooving song.

I guess Gloria Estafan was right, eventually, the rhythm is gonna get ya.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Your Father's Face

When I see your shining eyes, your apple cheeks, and your angel-blond hair, it is your father I am seeing in miniature form. You are the spitting image of him. It's why we called you "Mini Me" from the day you were born. You never looked like a wrinkly newborn - you looked like your handsome daddy from day one. Even your mannerisms are his. The way you run and jump and throw a ball. My little boy. My sweet husband. You two are peas in a pod. How lucky I am to have two such amazing men in my life. I am blessed. Twice over.

Monday, May 22, 2006

OP's Truck!

OK, I don't have any pictures of OP's truck, but it is all I have heard my son say for the past 72 hours. "OP's Truck! OP's Truck! Where is OP's Truck?!??!" OP is Jackson's grandfather, my Dad. He and my stepmom Diane (aka "Cracker" to her grandchildren - don't ask), and her brother David, just visited us from Texas for the first time. OP drives a truck - a big truck. That big truck connects to another big "truck" - his RV 5th wheel. Jackson was mesmorized by both big trucks and couldn't (and still can't) stop talking about them. He's also very much in love with his OP. The two have only gotten to meet a few times, but this time was definitely a bonding experience. I'm glad my Dad and family got to visit. Jackson's been saying "Grammy", "Nana", and "Grandpa" for awhile...but looks like they have some competition now with OP...afterall, OP has one big TRUCK!

PS - OP = Old Pop

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Our toys are breeding

I've looked around today, trying to corral this mess of a house, and it finally dawned on me - our toys are breeding. The trains are out of control, they are like rabbits. And don't get me started on matchbox cars! If I trip one more time on diggity dog or bubba dog, or even that blessed hound dog that sings "Ain't noth'n but a hound dog" that Grammy bought him (thanks mom) I'm gonna lose it! Books are everywhere and my kid can't even read. Toy hats. Blocks of every color, shape and size. Balls - oh my God, the balls are everywhere! Baskets of trinkets and what-nots that don't really have a purpose but seem to amuse Jackson for hours. Seriously, it is out of control. They must all sneak out at night, get a little tipsy on apple juice and have some fun. (wink wink) I'm looking for toy birth control if anyone knows where I can buy that in econo-size.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

No Kisses

No kisses!! This is what Jackson has been saying to me lately when I ask for a kiss. Odd that at 2 years of age he can communicate that he doesn't want to be smooshed on. It makes me laugh, but also makes me a little nostalgic for the days when he couldn't stop me from kissing him. For now I just have to sneak them in, or get them on the rare occasion when he doesn't throw up his hands and squeal "no kisses!!" Or if all else fails, turn him upside down and tickle him until he allows me a kiss - just one!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mowhawk Boy

Jackson, sporting the ever popular "Sunscreen-Head Mohawk" - very popular with the toddler set. Happy Monday!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Understanding


My mom and I have always been friends. Though I know I had some teenage surliness, I never really had an "I hate my parents" attitude. We always have had fun together. When I still lived in Texas we did lots of stuff together: shopping, dining out, going to the theatre, renting chick-flicks, going for dessert, etc. Even now when we get together we do these things. Maybe it's us both being middle children in families of all girls, our bond. Of course I think my two sisters and I all think we are mom's favorite. She's good that way, never making one of us feel less special than the other. That's a first-class mom in my opinion. But you know, I didn't truly appreciate and understand my mom until I became a mother myself. I didn't realize all the sacrifices she made for us, or the immense love she has for us. I didn't comprehend how much good she wanted for us three girls and our families. I never knew the true love a mom has for her children until I became one myself. Now I get it. It's like a world opened up to me that I didn't understand before. You love your children from the minute they are conceived. And when they are born to this earth you feel like your heart is going to explode with love. No matter how much they back-talk you, or hurt your feelings, or chuck legos at your head, you love them unconditionally. That's what being a mom is all about. Now I get it Mom.
Now I understand.

Happy Mother's Day to all the "moms" in my life - my mother Susie, my sister Debbie, my sister Kimi who is a new stepmother this year, my own stepmother Diane, my sweet Granny, my step-grandmother BJ, my Grandma Broome who is no longer here on earth, Alison my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law Wendy, my Godmother Paula, Aunts and Cousins who are mothers, and all my mom-friends who have shown me what being a good mother is all about...understanding.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Suburbia II

Yesterday I bragged about the 'burbs. Today I want them to go jump off their well manicured sloping hills!! I jest. Sort of. Today was a busy day in the backyard. We had a "non-compliance" issue from the previous home owner that we had to take care of: painting the neighbor's fence. It's a long story, one I'd prefer not to get into. But Shawn and I worked our tales off to get it done within the HOA's time frame. Then we both just wanted to zonk out for a nap when Jackson did. Jackson fell asleep quickly. Shawn did too - thankfully; he's had some early morning drives to Boulder this week. But some neighborhood yappy dog kept waking me up. I mean this freak'n dog would not shut up!! I'm 16 week pregnant - give a gal a break! I'm irritated and tired and want a piece of steak laced with arsenic to throw to the yappy beast who won't shut up (I jest...sort of). UGH! Darn these Suburbs!!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Suburbia

Shawn and I have always sort of prided ourselves on being city-folks. When I moved to Seattle I lived on First Hill -- as close to downtown as you could get without paying for a millionaire condo or living in a box. Slowly, over time, we gravitated further and further from the city center, but always we maintained a Seattle zip code. It was important to us to remain in the city, in the heart of all the action. Not that we saw a lot of action after our son was born, but Seattlites we remained. Then we moved to Colorado. We knew immediately that we did not want to live in Denver. 1) We don't really like Denver. It's just not Seattle. And 2) Living in the city is far more expensive than the 'burbs. So we settled here in Castle Rock and gave up quick access to theatres, restaurants, bars, museums, etc...
...And I must admit it - I LOVE the Suburbs! Those are not words I ever thought I'd utter. But Castle Rock is the cutest little town you ever saw. Oh sure, there's a Chile's within 2 miles of our house, but there are also quaint little family run restaurants where the owner knows your name and gives your child a hug and a toy as soon as you enter the door. There are parks and trees and playgrounds all over this place. And our neighborhood should win a prize for all-American charm. Nearly every house on the block boasts at least 1 child - most often, more than 1. All the neighbors know each other and are the nicest folks you'd every hope to meet. Emily across the street gave us brownies when we moved in - I thought that only happened on TV or in the 70's! Everyone's lawn is well kept; there are no tarps covering unfinished add-ons from a dozen years ago, or wanna-be gangstas' hanging out around an old clunker car that will never run. We are as happy as can be here. Jackson loves to play with "the kids" at the park, and wave at neighbors as we go on walks along the paths that dot the community. There's even a zero-entry pool for us to splash around in this summer. I can't wait to get my big old boy and my big old belly into that cool water!
So for now, this 32 year old mom of 1-1/2 kids is happy as can be living far away from the city, here in the heartland - - in the Suburbs.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Motherhood


I've officially been a stay at home mom to Jackson, age 2, for a year now. I say it all the time, but my God how time does fly! I have to wonder if I'm doing the best things for him. Am I reading to him enough, playing enough, dancing enough, talking enough...well, that one I know I'm hitting 'cause I can't get him to shut his yap sometimes and I know it's because I never shut mine! But you know when you are working and you have a yearly review with your boss. S/he lays out all the areas you have excelled in over the past year, and all the areas that need improvement. You get a grade or a ranking, then you get a raise. It's awesome. I'm learning it doesn't work that way in mommyhood . First, there are no grades or ranks. You are just "mom." No one's telling you where you excel or where you stink. No one's giving you a big fat raise, or telling you this year management is cutting back so raises will be practically non-existent. You just have to sort of trust that what you are doing is right, and hope your child doesn't turn out totally messed up. Oh, don't get me wrong, Shawn praises me all the time, and tells me I'm a great mom. And he does let me splurge with his -- ok honey, our -- money, on occasion. But what's he going to say, that I suck and should be replaced with my assistant who will get paid twice what I do? ha ha. But seriously, he gives me a lot of affirmation. And I appreciate it. I just think sometimes it's hard to know if I'm doing this right. I wish Jackson could say "hey mom, here's the areas you are good at - dancing to 80's pop music, reading in funny voices, and playing trains. The areas you need improvement include - singing (you're off key most of the time mom), snacks (more cupcakes, less fruit!), and playing at the park (you could come on that high slide with me if you really wanted to!!)." But I guess the only way I get get my affirmation that I'm doing this mom thing half-way right is by the run-by hugs he gives me on the playground, the high-fives after a good game of hide and seek, and the sweet nuzzles I get while reading to him before bedtime. Hmmm...now that I think about it, that sounds better to me than any old raise would!

My little Aussie


Anyone with a child over the age of say 6 months old, and who owns a TV or a video rental card, knows who The Wiggles are. For those not in the know, The Wiggles are the biggest grossing entertainment act out of Australia. Bigger than Nicole Kidman, Russel Crowe, Keith Urban, or even Oliva Newton-John. They are also just 4 average middle aged guys who sing, dance, and teach kids life lessons like sharing and eating healthy ("Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy!"). Anyway, my son is a huge Wiggles fan. He loves to dance and sing to their CD and their TV Show on Disney. If I ask him if he'd like fruit salad for lunch he replies by singing the Fruit Salad song. Truly, they are huge. I have a point to this, I promise, stay with me. My son also loves cars. This is a word he's been saying for over a year now, and he says it perfectly in American-English. UNLESS he's referring to a car that has a color. Then he pronounces it with an Australian Accent - for example "Purple Caww!!" or "Red Caww!" You see, The Wiggles biggest hit song is called "Big Red Car" and when they sing this song, they of course sing it with an Aussie accent. So my son now tells me he wants to play with his "Purple Caww!" Not Purple Car. Caww!! You get my drift. My 2 year old thinks he's Australian.

g'day mate

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

My son is two


Two. My son is two. 2 years ago this past week my water broke with Jackson. 18 hours later Jackson James arrived, timely on his due date, May 5, 2004. He came screaming into this world, joining my own yell to evict him from his cozy home of the past 9 (10) months . It was the most beautiful and miraculous (and painful!) moment of my life. I can remember vividly, like it was yesterday, Shawn and I sitting in the hospital and we'd both break into tears, caught unaware by the love and emotion that filled us just by looking at him. Even to this day I find myself dancing with my son or playing trains or reading Goodnight Moon, and tears will well because I have such immense love for this little man. He has made me a better person, a better wife, a better friend, and hopefully a 1/2-way decent mama. In so many ways he is still my little tiny baby. I have a hard time when someone refers to him as a little boy. But I also know he's not a baby any longer -- especially as he has started to say to me "pat pat baby" as he pats my tummy with his little brother or sister growing inside. I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone. Slow down little man, it's all going by way too fast!

Link to Jackson's 2nd birthday party