Friday, January 12, 2007

Choices

I decided to try giving Jackson more choices in order to get my way more often, and to reduce the tantrums that seem to plague our every day life these days. My friend Lisa told me about a book called "Love and Logic" and this seems to play into the ideas of discipline in this book. I still need to read the book, so I may be doing it all wrong. But I'm trying the choices thing, and it's helping a lot. For example I ask Jackson if he wants to go to nap now or in 2 minutes. Of course he chooses 2 minutes! I get my way. I ask Jackson if he wants to help me clean up his Colorforms or go clean up the playroom -- the playroom is a wreck, so he chooses to help me pick up his Colorforms, which is what I wanted done (the playroom will still get picked up, don't fret, but not until tonight before bed!).

So just now Jackson was crying because he wanted to take his garbage truck to nap with him. I said no, he could take his letter B (he loves his magnetic, green letter B - go figure). Well he began to cry uncontrollably. Great! His baby brother is sleeping so I rush Jackson to his room and shut the door so as not to wake Holden next door. Jackson is sobbing about his garbage truck. Now here's where I could get really angry or try the "Love and Logic" thing. OK. So I ask Jackson "Do you want to read stories before nap or do you want a minute to cry by yourself?" I'm thinking he'll stop crying and be excited to read some stories. Nope! He says "I need a minute to cry by myself!" So suppress a giggle and leave him to cry, which is what he's in there doing right now. It's not the choice I expected, but sometimes I guess everyone needs some alone time just to cry.

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