Sunday, January 07, 2007

Time

Time is not on my side when it comes to recording life with our two boys. It seems we are too busy living the life to write about it. I just don't have the time anymore. But I am a "recorder" by nature, always have been, and I don't want to let the days, weeks, months and years slip by without remembering and writing about the changes our boys are going through or the joy they bring to our lives. Our time with them as infants and toddlers is so fleeting. I have to remind myself of this, when it's 2AM and Holden's waking for another feeding, or it's 5AM and Jackson awakens to tell us about his favorite new garbage truck for the one millionth time! It's fleeting, and will be gone in an instant. Before we have time to blink our boys will be involved in a million activities and school functions, meeting their friends for movies or slumber parties (note to self: to boys have slumber parties???), or just have better things to do than hang out with boring old mom and dad. So it's because of this that I must find the time to write. Because it will be gone in an instant, and I want us to have the memories well preserved to replay over and over again.

I have to remember the silly things they do. Like how Holden, all of 10 weeks out of my womb, cracks up when I say "Mocha Frappacino with the Whip on Top!" Or how their vocabulary grows by leaps and bounds -- Jackson used the words "amazing" and "awesome" this weekend, astounding us with his prose. And as I work to throw out the clutter of old toys and make room for new ones, I have to remember how Jackson once adored shaking the Aunt Jamima syrup bottle I cleaned out and filled with popcorn seeds when he was just a baby. It made a magical sound and mesmerized him. I didn't throw it out, with hopes that first homemade toy will provide the same laughter for Holden. (but I did toss the two plastic Halloween pumpkins, which seem to multiply every year in the fall, and all the toys that came in kids meals over the past year or so).

With all the changes that our lives have undergone in the past almost-three-years, it has already gone by in a blink. Neither Shawn or I even remember what it is like to sleep in on a Saturday morning. But we know what the early morning light looks like as the sun comes up and shines through the kitchen window on our children's faces. We don't know what reading the Sunday paper uninterrupted is like, but I can clip coupons from it in record speed. We have forgotten how to have a leisurely date night or what a long dinner out at a non-chain restaurant is like. But seeing Jackson's excitement when he gets to pick out his color of balloon at Red Robin is sooooo worth it. And no one notices a crying baby in a noisy joint like that either!

We relish another view of weekends now - playing at the park or in the snow, long walks on the trail behind our house, early morning coos and snuggles from our newborn son, the quiet the house feels when both boys are napping... that is what our life is now. And like I've said, it will be gone in a blink. So I have to remember to write it all down, 'cause it's all going so darn fast...time is not on my side. But I also know that the best is yet to come.

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