I never imagined myself raising a boy, much less two. I've mentioned before I come from a family of all women - my boys are the first in 2 generations in my immediate family. It's shocking to me sometimes when I envision our future- mainly because I can't. I have no idea what the future holds for us. I'm used to a lot of female hormones, drama, hour-long primp sessions, embarrassing "female" situations, etc. I do not know about this boy thing.
Currently I'm a bit lost in the "play" world of boys. Jackson adores trains, cars, buses, etc. And he wants to "play trains!" all day every day. I feel bad saying this, but oh my gosh playing this much trains is starting to make me go insane!! They just go around the track. Period. There's no plot. No dressing up or brushing hair. No matching shoes and purses. Nothing I can really relate to. Thomas. Percy. Jack. They all have names - just like Barbie, Skipper, Ken - but their story lines are indecipherable. I don't think they have one. I think it's just like I said, trains going around a track all day every day non-stop. Sometimes we vary it and play with Scoop, Muck and Dizzie. (Bob the Builder) But it's still pretty much the same thing.
I see a lot of sports in our future, too. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm clueless when it comes to Major League Anything. I enjoy a live baseball game once or twice a year - but that's for the hot dogs. Football is bothersome to me. Soccer is alright, but again, I'm just not really an athlete. And if skateboarding or BMX-ing (like their Daddy) is in my future, oh Lord, help me. I'm not sure how this is all going to go down! I'm not sure how I'll be able to hold it all together any (and every) time either of them gets hurt doing their thing. I have to pray they are as sturdy as Shawn was and escape fairly uninjured. Otherwise I'm signing them up for a knitting class and calling it good.
But I also know this - something I've learned from all the train playing... I adore watching my boys play. I laugh at the silly things Jackson says, or am amazed by where his imagination goes. I love hearing him laugh out loud (even when it wakes his brother up). I love seeing him smile at his trains or throw a ball with such concentration. Even Holden's getting into the swing of things, batting at the little balls that hang from his bouncy seat, cracking himself up. Balls. Trains. Planes. Cars. Injuries. They are all a part of my future of raising boys. But so are those amazing smiles. And those laughs that fill me with such love and joy.
Well, I'll take that over Barbie any day of the week.