If you are out there, give me a shout. I'd love to hear from whoever might be browsing along. I would also like to put to rest my still-lingering-20-years-later Jr. High School pains of being incredibly shy and unpopular.
Oh, and my kids were especially cute last night. Shawn was stuck in traffic due to this icky late April snow we just got. So I was desperately trying to get a fussy baby nursed and off to bed, while my almost 3 year old (who refuses to nap) was having an epic meltdown. Eventually they both ended up in my arms in the rocking chair in Holden's room. How I managed them both is beyond me. Holden nursed. Jackson snuggled. The both passed out before I got to the 2nd verse of "Baby Mine." Awesome. I loved that moment so much I cried. It was one I'll never forget. Both my boys, quiet and sleeping snuggled up in my arms. That is bliss.
Speaking of "Baby Mine..." So I have a college degree in theatre. Yes, a very useful Bachelor of Fine Arts in Acting and Directing. Most people look at me quite puzzled when I tell them this because the natural reaction is "and what did you do with that degree?" My answer -- easy, I became a marketing-manager-turned-stay-at-home-mom, of course! Anyway, I think I was a fairly decent actress in college. I was in some pretty good shows (in my very humble opinion) and won "Best Actress" and "Best Acting Student" two years in a row at the theatre department's annual awards banquet. But I sucked as a singer. Seriously, I was dreadful. I could fake my way as a dancer, but the singing was horrid. I can admit that. As a result, I did very few musicals during my tenure. One to be exact. And believe me, there was no solo or duet for this off-key warbler. Nevertheless, at auditions each fall and spring of my University career I had to audition for each season's shows. That included a monologue (no problem) and a song (big problem). I dreaded that part of auditions. Probably the casting folks did, too. I remember distinctly my first college audition singing "Baby Mine" from Dumbo. I also remember, very clearly, all my friends making fun of me for choosing this song. And for my performance in general because, like I said, I can't carry a tune. But I was determined. I sang it with all my heart because I think it is a beautiful song... and I totally sucked. And a few of my friends reminded me of this sucking for years to come. It was that bad. But I loved that song and still do. When my first son was born I sang it to him all the time. It is sweet and gentle and even off-key, he didn't care. The Better Middler version of "Baby Mine" is on his nightly CD. He's listened to that CD every night since he was 4 months old. Now, 3 years later, anytime I sing any song from that CD he stops whatever he's doing, smiles at me, and sweetly says "that's my song." He doesn't care that I suck. He doesn't care that I can't carry a tune. I'm his mama. And he's my baby mine. And my college friends can bite me. Because the most important judges of my singing are my two boys. And they think my voice is angelic.