Yes, I know, not miraculous. But we are both usually so run down and exhausted by the time we get both boys in bed and a little quiet in the house that we just automatically turn on the boob-tube, pour a glass of wine, and veg out. Oh we talk a little, but it's usually just blabber between commercials -- funny things the boys did during the day, who I ran into at the library, how Shawn's job is going, etc.
But Wednesday night there wasn't anything on TV. We are both trying to lose a little weight so we didn't have any wine. So we actually talked. There are two men at Shawn's work whose wives are due with their first babies in the next few weeks, so we reminisced, as we often do, about the births of our own boys. Vastly different experiences. We laughed at the hysterics of Jackson's birth - how I screamed with laughter when my water broke in our living room in Seattle (thank God for hardwood floors), and Shawn and I sort of danced around the room giggling, not knowing exactly what to do next. And me telling Shawn to basically shut the hell up about whether or not Jackson did or did not have hair as I was pushing him out (he came out bald as a cue ball). And how in awe we were the first several days after his arrival, not quite believing that beautiful, perfect child was ours to take home. How unbelievably nervous we were driving down I-5 home from the hospital.
And of course we talked about Holden's birth, too. Easily one of the very scariest moments of our lives. Even a year later I tend to ask questions of Shawn about the birth because I was knocked out. Some of them he can't even answer since he wasn't in the room when Holden came into the world. In fact, as we talked Wednesday night, I found out more details about that night that I had forgotten or never known. I didn't realized until this conversation how long Shawn was left alone in the delivery suite after they rushed me back to the OR; scared and uncertain about the baby or me. How desolate that must have been for him. And how the nurses came to give him the news we were both fine and healthy, and hugged him so kindly. The brief moment he spent anxiously waiting outside the OR to meet his son for the first time. Getting to meet him even before I did! And I recalled moments my brain had forgotten. I remembered them wheeling me to the recovery suite after my surgery and looking into the nursery seeing Shawn with the baby. I wanted to yell and reach out to him but of course I could not. And he didn't see me. There was a comical moment in that as well. It was very Chaplin-esque.
It was good to sit back with my hubby and re-live those experiences. Moments we can never have back but are good to remember and cherish - even the scary moments. They remind us how blessed we are. How very much we wanted these children that we have been given. How amazing the experience of birth is - however it happens. And how even on those days when both kids are driving us mad and we long for a quiet moment alone in front of the tube with a glass of wine, even then we can look at each other and know it is all worth it. This little family of ours.