Friday, September 28, 2007

Turn off our TV

The other evening Shawn and I turned off the TV. We even had a conversation.

Yes, I know, not miraculous. But we are both usually so run down and exhausted by the time we get both boys in bed and a little quiet in the house that we just automatically turn on the boob-tube, pour a glass of wine, and veg out. Oh we talk a little, but it's usually just blabber between commercials -- funny things the boys did during the day, who I ran into at the library, how Shawn's job is going, etc.

But Wednesday night there wasn't anything on TV. We are both trying to lose a little weight so we didn't have any wine. So we actually talked. There are two men at Shawn's work whose wives are due with their first babies in the next few weeks, so we reminisced, as we often do, about the births of our own boys. Vastly different experiences. We laughed at the hysterics of Jackson's birth - how I screamed with laughter when my water broke in our living room in Seattle (thank God for hardwood floors), and Shawn and I sort of danced around the room giggling, not knowing exactly what to do next. And me telling Shawn to basically shut the hell up about whether or not Jackson did or did not have hair as I was pushing him out (he came out bald as a cue ball). And how in awe we were the first several days after his arrival, not quite believing that beautiful, perfect child was ours to take home. How unbelievably nervous we were driving down I-5 home from the hospital.

And of course we talked about Holden's birth, too. Easily one of the very scariest moments of our lives. Even a year later I tend to ask questions of Shawn about the birth because I was knocked out. Some of them he can't even answer since he wasn't in the room when Holden came into the world. In fact, as we talked Wednesday night, I found out more details about that night that I had forgotten or never known. I didn't realized until this conversation how long Shawn was left alone in the delivery suite after they rushed me back to the OR; scared and uncertain about the baby or me. How desolate that must have been for him. And how the nurses came to give him the news we were both fine and healthy, and hugged him so kindly. The brief moment he spent anxiously waiting outside the OR to meet his son for the first time. Getting to meet him even before I did! And I recalled moments my brain had forgotten. I remembered them wheeling me to the recovery suite after my surgery and looking into the nursery seeing Shawn with the baby. I wanted to yell and reach out to him but of course I could not. And he didn't see me. There was a comical moment in that as well. It was very Chaplin-esque.

It was good to sit back with my hubby and re-live those experiences. Moments we can never have back but are good to remember and cherish - even the scary moments. They remind us how blessed we are. How very much we wanted these children that we have been given. How amazing the experience of birth is - however it happens. And how even on those days when both kids are driving us mad and we long for a quiet moment alone in front of the tube with a glass of wine, even then we can look at each other and know it is all worth it. This little family of ours.

Can you guess which child is which??

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Target SPREE!

A few weeks ago I unabashedly wrote of my true love for Target. It's silly, I know. I mean, its a store for Pete's sake! But it's the little things in life, right?! Well today I checked my mail and my step-Grandmother, always known to me as BJ, sent me a beautiful Birthday card (I'm 34 next Tuesday in case you want to buy me a cake) and included some money for me to splurge on myself at Target with! Woo-hoo!! I can hardly wait. I rarely get to just go crazy in that store. I get excited when swiffer wipes are on sale. But this time it's all about ME, baby! I'm gonna get a new bra. And a couple new t-shirts (without spit up or paint stains). And maybe some sassy new lip gloss and a funky eyeliner, too. And probably the fattest tube of Eurcerin Skin Creme I can find. And not to be forgotten, a big, delicious bar of dark chocolate all for myself...ok, maybe I'll share a square with Shawn...maybe. Anyway, can you tell how excited I am?? Well, I am. I may have to slip out of the house tonight and do a little window shopping. I promise I won't spend the actual money until after my birthday. I think I'm not supposed to open my birthday cards or gifts early anyway, right? Well, I'll try and restrain myself but I ain't makin' any promises!

Thank you Billie Jo for the awesome gift and the total-me-splurge. The card was also very touching and made me a little weepy. But I am a weepy kind of gal. You are a very special Grandmother to me and I am so blessed that you are a part of my life. xoxo

BJ & Holden, December 2006

Monday, September 24, 2007

Hide and Seek

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Night, night sleepy heads

Our boys went to bed at the same time for the first time ever. Holden has always wanted to go to bed early. Before 9 months of age he always went to bed around 6:00PM. That's just when he was tired and when he wanted to go to sleep. So I obliged. I like a sleeping baby! But lately, the last couple of months, he's been stretching it more and more. It is fun to have that time with both the boys and Shawn before they are rushed off to bed. And tonight Holden made it as late as 7:30.

We did our usual pick up toys routine and Holden just watched as Jackson cleaned up. And boy oh boy, I have to say, this was the best clean up job he's done in a long time. Not the usual whining and complaining and stalling. He happily cleaned up (well, somewhat happily) with the promise that Daddy would swing him around like a Merry-go-round if he helped. He did. Then teeth were brushed and jammies put on. Jackson had a bit of an attitude and lost his story time (sorry buddy, them's the breaks!) but he calmed down pretty quickly I must admit. While Shawn tackled Jackson's bedtime stuff I actually got to sit and read 2 stories to Holden - something I never get to do at night. And he actually listened. He touched the books and laughed and enjoyed his story time. I then nursed him off to dream-land and that was that. Jackson was already tucked into bed, but I slipped in to kiss him goodnight. He wouldn't let me kiss him - surprise, surprise. But he did tell me he loved me and that he'd see me in the morning. Ahhhh...sweet boy. Can you tell I'm a sap tonight? I am. We have two sweetie-pie boys. Night, night sleepy heads. Sweet dreams.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Baby crack

I produce baby crack. Calm down -not real crack. Baby crack. In other words - breastmilk. My son is never going to wean. Ever. I will be sending him off to college un-weaned. OK, that's a little much. But it feels that way. He is very attached to the boob. I know Holden, you are going to hate me for this one day, but you are. And I worry how I am ever going to get him on to cow's milk. Some kids like pacifiers. Some kids find their thumbs. My kid uses me as his comfort. And it is very sweet, don't get me wrong. I feel a very close bond to my little boy, and I cherish those quiet moments when I'm nursing him to sleep, or when he's just woken up in the morning, all fresh faced and sleepy. And of course you can't beat breastmilk for convenience, nutrition and all around free-ness (do you know how much formula costs?!@!?). But at some point he is going to have to let me go.

He's a year next month (SNIFF!) and shows no signs of weaning. And to be honest I don't even know how to go about weaning him. Jackson took a formula bottle early on. He went to daycare when I went back to work, my supply ran low, and I supplemented with formula. It never bothered me. So when he made the full switch to formula at 9 months he wasn't even phased. Nor was I, really. But Holden has been ebf'd since about 3 months of age. He went into the hospital for RSV and came out never taking a bottle ever again. Who can blame him? I mean, it's warm and perfectly tasty I'm sure. And it's always at the ready. That's part of the problem - it's always there, right in his face! He will start to twitch and fuss and shriek when he reaches the 3.5 - 4 hour mark between feedings. I know what he wants. He wants his milk and he wants it NOW. Sort of like crack. And the minute he gets his fill, he's a happy little baby again. That's such an easy fix. I suppose in a lot of ways I'm an enabler to his love of baby crack, er, I mean breast milk. It's just so easy. But it's going to be difficult to continue that way once he's off to college, ya know?!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Once upon a time there was a nice little house in a nice little neighborhood in a nice little town. Inside the house lived a nice Daddy and a nice Mommy. They had two nice little boys. The nice little boys refused to take naps. Their nice Mommy tried to make them take naps, but they protested with tears and stalling mechanisms and requests for drinks of water or milk. As a result, everyone walked around the nice little house very tired and very crabby. Especially the Mommy.

The End

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

beep! beep!

I think it's pretty obvious Jackson loves cars, trucks, trains, etc. He calls every car that is sort of semi-rounded a "Beep-Beep Car." This includes VW Bugs, PT Cruisers, etc. If they are rounded, then they are a "Beep-Beep Car," as if this were the official name. I have no idea where he got this. I think it has something to do with the Wiggles big red car, but I'm not sure. Every time we are out driving (and lately between preschool, swimming lessons, and playdates, we are driving a lot!) and he notices a rounded style automobile he will shout it out - "Look Mommy, it's a Beep-Beep Car!" Usually he will also fill in the color - "White Beep-Beep Car!" "Red Beep-Beep Car!" "Blue Beep-Beep Car! etc. You get the point.

This morning we were on our way to swimming lessons and he was specifically noticing several "Beep-Beep Cars" as we drove along. He seemed almost annoyed that he had to call out and identify every single one. Finally, exasperated by so many of this style car, he proclaimed:

"Wow, there sure are a lot of Beep-Beep Cars in this town!"

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

In Memoriam: 9/11

Remembering sadly those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001. And gratitude for those who rushed into rescue during a very desperate and horrific time, and those who continue to fight for our freedom. Bring our troops home.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Jackson's new playground, er, I mean bed

We went into the children's furnishing store with the plan to buy a simple child's bed with a trundle underneath to accommodate guests and sleepovers. We came out with this thing:

...he adores it. Two nights in a row now he's shooed us out of his room at bedtime. That's one terrific bed.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

I (heart) Target!

Ask my husband. I truly do love Target. Love it, love it, love it. Does that fully induct me into the "Suburban Mom Hall of Fame?" So be it. I have to visit it once a week, at minimum, or I'm not complete. It just speaks to me. I can walk in needing carpet cleaner and diapers and come out having spent $123.34. Easily. While diapers are expensive, they aren't that expensive! I could also easily spend more but I restrain myself. It's really dangerous when I go by myself on the weekends. Then I can really spend because I can browse and check out specials and clearance and be swayed by pretty packaging and sale tags. Aside from the carpet cleaner and diapers, I love browsing the home furnishings, women's fashions, shoes and accessories, children's clothing and accessories, cooking utensils, beauty items (perhaps my favorite section of all), the men's clothing section if Shawn is lucky, and finally, whatever seasonal set up they have in the back of the store. Right now that happens to be school supplies. Love school supplies. So pretty much that means every section of the store. I love their 6 pack of cotton wash clothes for $2.49. I love their paper goods. I love their $1 section that stocks everything from sponges to stickers to mini-staplers. I even love browsing the toy isle with my boys. It's not too overwhelming like if I went to Toys R Us or something with them. And Target pulls their recalls immediately...unlike a certain store with the acronyms TRU or BRU. Target is a little piece of Nirvana for me. Call me suburban, I don't care.

And now, here is a list of what I purchased at Target this morning -- enjoy!:
  • Kadzoo soap refill
  • AA Batteries (16 pack)
  • Ant traps (we have ants - yuck)
  • Bissell Carpet cleaner (I plan to shampoo the carpets this weekend)
  • 2 boxes of tissues, Aloe
  • 2 pack of Clorox wipes for my messy boys' bathroom
  • 6 pack of Mentos for my incessant cough that doesn't seem to be illness related
  • 2-in-1 shampoo for Jackson, whose hair needs conditioning now
  • 2 pack of 3 way light bulbs for the family room
  • Safety latches for the cabinets (have fun honey)
  • Bendable straws

Here's what I didn't buy:

  • Hanes cotton bra (they didn't have my size)
  • Utensil holder (they didn't have white)
  • Halloween costumes for the boys (unsure what they will be)
  • Halloween t-shirt for me (restraint)
  • Gray hoodie sweatshirt for me(double-duty restraint)
  • Chocolate donuts (triple-duty restraint)
  • Pantry organizer (couldn't find one)

And that about sums it up. I'm sure I'll need to head back again at least once more before the weekend is over. And by the way, Target did not pay me for this post. Though they should have. I suppose the frame I accidentally stole from there several months ago makes up for it. In my defense, I had a newborn and it got stuck under his carseat carrier. Once I made it to the car with my boys, in the snow, I refused to go back and pay the $4.99 I owed for the frame. So I kept it. Sorry Target. Let this praising post be your payment.

Thursday, September 06, 2007


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Car crash

Jackson is into crashing his cars. I'm sure most boys go through this. He takes it a bit to the extreme though. Recently he asked me, as we were coming to a stop at a stoplight, if I would please crash my car into the car in front of me. Um, no, I don't think so. He was confused and innocently asked me why not. Ho hum. But he does take it all very seriously. He piles up every single one of his 3,452 toy cars (none in the recent slew of recalls mind you - Mattel is ticking me off lately, but that's a rant for another day) into one big pile, and then admires them throughout the day. If Holden happens to pull himself up to the table they are stacked on and moves one, Jackson instantly knows and comes running into the room to first reprimand his brother, and second, to place the car exactly where it was in the car crash. Holden usually looks at him bewildered because really, he just wanted to chew on the car, not get involved in an altercation. But precision is the name of the game, and don't even think about messing with how this kid has his crash set up. If you happen upon his crash my recommendation is to keep on walking . Don't stop, just keep moving. And if you happen to be driving with him in a real car, don't listen to his driving advice.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

First Day

What? I have to wear sunscreen to school??

Isn't my new backpack cool?! Let me tell you about how great school is going to be...

I'm so ready for this Mom!
You started asking when we were going to leave for preschool at 7:15 this morning, and proceeded to ask again and again every 1/2 hour or so until we left at 1:30. You could hardly contain your excitement! I was so nervous for you -- but you took it all in stride. Strolled up to the door and begged to go inside. Finally it was time -- Mrs. Lisa opened the door and you ran into the room, ready for action. We found your name tag and your cubby and you allowed me to kiss you goodbye. I watched you from the window for a couple of minutes, but finally left you to play. You were in the thick of it all and barely gave me a glance farewell.

You LOVED your first day of preschool, Jackson. You made a glittery picture of an apple and painted another bright red picture as well. You met several new friends, but specifically remembered a fun, new friend named Riley. You thought the cookie you had for snack was delicious! And you waved goodbye politely to your teachers and practically skipped all the way to the car when the day was over. The best moment of my day was returning to pick you up again, seeing your eyes light up when you saw me. We enjoyed Popsicles when we got home and I got to hear a few snippets of what you did in school. Wow big guy. What a big day!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Dear Jackson...

To my eldest son, on his first day of preschool...

Dear Jackson,
Tomorrow you begin a new chapter in your big-boy life. You begin your first day of preschool. We have anticipated this day for many months. We've talked about all the new things you are going to learn, the new friends you are going to make, and the fun times you are going to have. We went to Target together, just you and me, to buy your school supplies -- two kinds of glue, an orange folder labeled with your name, watercolors, a new backpack, and a package of 12 broadline Crayola markers (which took me 5 stores to find -- who knew??). We attended your open house and met your new teacher, Mrs. Lisa, who seems very nice. Both of us have been so excited about the "big day" and have been counting it down for weeks.

So why do I feel so weepy as the day approaches?? I've been so ready for you to begin this new stage. I know you will have so much fun, and really do need to have this time that is just for you. You are ready for the challenges that school will put towards you. And I need some one-on-one time with your brother, too, who up until now has just sort of gone with the flow of our daily plans. But I know I am going to miss you so very much. I will miss knowing you are around all day, every day. I quit my job, my career, so I could be here with you and for you every day. To watch you change and grow from a barely walking 12 month old into a running, skipping, jumping, exuberant 3.4 year old. And now you are the one making this gigantic step. Not me. But it is me, in many ways. I have to let you go - your first step towards childhood independence. For 2.5 hours a day, twice a week, someone else is going to be watching over you and caring for you. Making sure you are safe, happy and learning new things. This is a big change for you "baby" boy. But it's a big change for me, too.

I'll give you bumper kisses before you go into your new classroom tomorrow, and pray that you make it through with no tears -- and me, too. And I'll pray that life won't suddenly flash by me and I'm giving you bumper kisses as you head off to college, too. I just want it all to slow down a bit so I can see you through this time and live in the moment that is now. My little boy. 3 years old and heading off to his first day of school.