Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Boy oh Boy

It really is a weird phenomenon that I have two boys. I am a very girly-girl. Not that I expected a girl in my life. Well, honestly, I did, because I come from a family where women have only girls pretty much -- I'm one of three girls. My sister has three girls. My mom was one of three girls. The boy thing was way out of left field. And honestly, both times, I wanted boys. I wanted something a little out of the ordinary. Oh boy, did I get it. But it got me thinking. I think God, or the fates, or whatever it is that you believe rules the Universe, gives to us what we are supposed to have in this life. I really do believe this. We are destined for the babies that we have -- whether we give birth to them ourselves or they come to us via another means -- they are our destiny. And my boys are mine.

As a young girl, a young woman I guess, I was pretty much afraid of boys. Boys my own age. From about the age of 10, up until I was about 17, I was deathly afraid of them. That might explain why I didn't have a real boyfriend until I was 16. But I was unsure how to talk to them. Act around them. So I clammed up. I became very shy around the opposite sex. In retrospect this probably came across as my being very stuck up. With apologies, I was just very, very unsure of myself. I'm not certain when that turned around for me. Probably not until I found my husband. But I think part of why I have been graced with two beautiful boys in my life is to make some sort of amends for my shyness as a girl. It also makes me very much want to raise boys who are kind, and sweet, and thoughtful. Who will be good spouses and fathers, should that be the route they take in life.

In having my two boys my world has been rocked. Forget pink and dolls and tea parties -- I know about Star Wars and Spiderman and guns and light sabers (I thought there were called life savers) and all things "boy." There are many skinned knees and burps and farts and other goofy faces, noises and smells. It is a whole new world. But I'm thrilled by it and in awe of it all at the same time. And my shyness is all but gone -- you gotta buck it up with so much testosterone going on in one house. Mama's gotta be heard.

2 comments:

Terri W. said...

I'm *still* afraid of them. :-P

Tales from the Crib said...

ha! :-)