Thursday, October 28, 2010

Kiss'n Kin

This is from our trip to Texas - my mama and most of her grands.  Someone noticed that Holden and my Mom have the same cheeky look going - I have to agree!  We had a fantastic time visiting the fam, and the boys were so amazingly good the entire time.  It isn't easy traveling alone with two little boys, but my mama did it most of our growing up, and for 3 emotional girls rather than 2 rambunctious boys.  A friend once told me "there's no trophy for being a mom."  She was right.  But somehow I think when you are a grandparent, the trophy is the the grandchildren...

Monday, October 25, 2010


I'm not sure how that happened.  But somehow along the way you turned four.  It has gone by in a blink!  Holden Charles at the age of four you are an absolute delight to all who know and love you.  You are caring and sweet and easy going.  You are quick with a smile, and have even been described as a "class clown" by your preschool teacher, Ms. Char.  You love to just be with your Mommy.  You love to have your Daddy tickle you.  You love playing games and legos and Wii with your brother.  You have sweet friends who you love to play with, and who you rarely fight with.  You don't love going to school, but once you are there you have a blast and are as smart as a whip.  You like to draw and play games and imagine you are a superhero.  You will sleep in if the household lets you.  You would rather do just about anything but eat.  You are not a fan of food.  You'll grow out of this, I'm sure.  You are my baby.  Always and forever.  The day you were born you changed our world for the better.  Your birth was scary and emotional and I remember thinking as they wheeled me to the operating room to get you out: "please let him live. please let him live. please let him live." And you did.  You live life fully every day of your life.  All four years of it.  Thank you for the joy and love and laughter you bring to our lives my sweet, rock'n little man. 

Happy Birthday Holden Charles.  We love you.  To the moon and back.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Gett'n the heck outta dodge...

Honestly, I have no idea what that means.  But the little men and I are heading out of town tomorrow for a few days in Texas-country.  Flat lands, open fields, Mexican food, my sisters, my kin, The Science Spectrum, good friends, some photo shoots and a little R-N-R!  This has been an insane past few weeks for me.  I'm ready to chill a bit.  The boys are so excited to see their cousins and aunts and uncle and Grammy and OP and Cracker and BJ and the puppies and maybe even get to hop in OP's hot tub if the weather conditions are ok for it.  They are not excited about the 8.5 hour drive.  Neither am I.  But the Pilot has a DVD player, lots of leg room, and I've stocked up on snacks.  We're outta here.

ps -we'll miss you like crazy Daddy and are already counting down the minutes until we get to see you again!! xoxoxoxo

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


Jackson's first lost tooth popped out yesterday morning.  Literally.  He said "mommmy look how loose my tooth is!" and then it popped onto the rug.  The grin that spread on his face was indescribable.  Shock.  Joy.  Giddiness.  His grown up tooth was already growing in behind it, so it has already taken its rightful place in his big, grinny mouth.

The toothfairy came for a visit.  She left a sweet, glittery note and a fiver.  Jackson got to use his toothfairy pillow I made a few months ago, from one of his favorite shirts as a baby.  Love seeing that pillow on his bed every morning.  Love seeing that sweet little grin every morning, too.

Saturday, October 02, 2010


I'm 37.  That sort of rocks.   And I have it good.  Yeah, the thighs aren't what  I want them to be.  The bags under the eyes are prominent.  I have stretch marks in places I never imagined.  But I also have 2 awesome kids (thank you stretch marks).  An amazing, loving husband.  Incredible (truly) friends.  Awesome family.  A business I'm way proud of.  A home I adore.  Food in my pantry.  Love in my heart.  Wine in my fridge.  That's all a girl needs.  So welcome "late 30's" - show me what you've got in store!

Friday, October 01, 2010

Putting on my serious face for a moment...

I have 2 beautiful, smart, wonderful little boys.  I don't know the path life will take them on, but I hope that their Dad and I can impart upon them how to be good, loving people.  To come to us if they ever needed to.  To know that their home and their family are a safe place where there are no judgements.  I want them to always feel our love, even when we are angry or hurt or whatever other emotion we might be going through. I want them to also know that we do not  and will not ever tolerate them being bullies or being hateful or ugly.

I've read a lot in the news in the past week about an epidemic of teen suicides related to young people who were bullied for being gay or different.  This absolutely breaks my heart. That they felt so ashamed or embarrassed or whatever else that the only solution in their hearts was to take their lives.  Children who were once nurtured in their mama's womb.  Rocked gently to sleep with a lullaby and a kiss.  Children who very well likely were playmates with the same kids who would turn on them later in life and taunt and bully them.  Their shame was so deep that suicide was their answer for the bullying and the taunts and the flat out hatred.  That just simply is not ok.  It is another form of bigotry and should not be tolerated.

I'm a day away from 37 years of age but 17 doesn't seem that far ago. I remember vividly being a teenager. The emotions are so raw at that age.  Everything seems so important and all consuming.  Though it was 20 years ago I remember the emotions of dating a young man - my first real love - who was too afraid to admit that he was gay at such a young age, especially in a very conservative west Texas town.   So he hid behind his cover - dating a girl.  We dated off and on (and off and on) over a 5 year period of time before he could finally, courageously come out to his parents, his friends, his peers, me.  I, selfishly, was heartbroken at the time, but I knew in my heart that something wasn't clicking for us.  Time heals all wounds, but his wounds were likely much, much deeper.  He spent that many years, and more probably, hiding behind his true self for the same fear of taunting, bullying, and lack of acceptance.  I can't imagine how hard that must have been. For him.  For so many of my other friends who are gay and face taunting, bullying, and hiding their true selves for far, far too many years.

Like I said, I don't know the path my boys will take in life.  They may want to live their lives out in small town America, marry sweet girls and raise lots of babies.  Or they may want to be artists living a life abroad, traveling the world.  They may choose marriage, they may not.  They may decide to ride a Harley and follow a rock band all over the country.  They may choose to have children, they may not.  They may even choose to be Republicans (gasp! ha ha!)  But no matter where they go, what they do, who they love, I just want them to always know that we love them, and are here for them, and support them.  No matter what.  Because I felt them both move in my womb. I kissed their first owies.  I have loved them, unconditionally, from the moment I knew they were on their way.  And I will continue to love them, unconditionally, for all of their lives.