Wednesday, June 29, 2011


That's the buzz word - empathy.  Kids who show empathy.  Teaching empathy.  Being empathetic.  It's not an easy thing to teach, or to learn.  It is far easier to be a wee bit selfish and focus within rather on those around us.  Even harder when you are 4 or 7.

Today I didn't feel so hot.  We spent the morning at the park playing in the fountains, eating less than healthy food, and probably getting less than an adequate supply of water.  Add to that my late night's editing, a little guy who woke me at 3am due to a bad dream, and a smidgen of hormones, and you have a cranky mommy.  I had a killer headache -something that comes upon me about once every month or two since giving birth for the first time 7 years ago.  Blame the epidural, or hormones, or mommy-hood, but they are this side of debilitating for me.  It is hard to move past them, especially when I'm simply expected to be "on" 24/7.  Today it hit rock bottom.  During "personal time" (what I have renamed quiet time to  make it sound more appealing) I felt the absolute need to lie down.  Despite piles of work, both home and professional, I just couldn't move past it.  I got little rest - the phone rang, texts came through, I thought of another thing to add to my to-do list, and then 50 minutes into it, without truly a wink having been had, the kids started the inevitable: can we come out yet??  I finally acquiesced and let them play. On the one condition that they give mommy a little more time to rest.  The did.  Which was lovely.  And a few minutes into it I felt the pad of little feet, and the quiet that comes only from the stare of little eyes...

"Mommy?  Are you ok?"  -- Jackson staring at me with slightly concerned eyes.  Mommy rarely lies down anymore.  If ever...

"Yeah buddy, just not feeling so great.  Think I'll rest a bit more."

The quiet continued.  Then I felt the bed heave.  And Jackson's wee little body snuggle up to mind.  I felt a kiss more tender than anything he's given me in at least 4 years.  And then, his warm little body snuggling up to mine, and his arm around me.  He was snuggling me.  It gave me the greatest sense of comfort and warmth.  He snuggled me for at least 20 minutes, alternating kisses and hugs and pats.  My headache didn't really subside, but in all honesty, I felt better than I had in a long time.  My son showed an empathy I hadn't felt from him in a long while.  It was honest and genuine, and without desire of reward or praise (so common for 7 year olds).  It was, in a word, true bliss.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Best. Daddy. Ever.

Thank you my love. For always being there for me, and for our boys.  Thank you for always alternating diaper changes (whew, aren't you glad those days are behind us?).  And midnight feedings.  Thank you for playing Pokemon, and Star Wars, and pretend camp outs.  Thank you for showing our boys respect.  Thank you for being the calm when I'm a storm.  Thank you for sharing in everything, and often times taking on more than your share.  Thank you for giving me my Pentax and helping me realize my future.  Thank you for encouraging me and supporting me and never doubting me.  Thank you for the up times and the down times.  There's always both, with any partnership, but thank you for making the ups outweigh the downs, and always making sure we can laugh.  Thank you for giving me the softer pillows when we travel.  Thank you for travel. Thank you for mowed lawns, repaired computers, washed dishes, and a million other things that make life complicated.  Thank you for Jackson.  And Holden.  And the one we lost.  Thank you for letting our boys have a full time parent with them always.  Thank you for being a wonderful son to your parents.  And a wonderful son-in-law to mine.  Thank you for knowing lots and lots of things.  Thank you for saying thank you.  Thank you for respecting my full time job and my part time job.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for being fair, honest, and trustworthy.  Thank you for showing our boys what a good father is.  Happy Father's Day to the best one I know.  It is corny and cliche but it is true - YOU make me a better Mama.  I love you.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

My joy...

This has brought me immense joy this summer.  Tending my perennials in their 2nd summer.  They are fuller and more lovely than last year.  They are only 2 years old - this yard was a barren wasteland when we moved in.  But it has been a true joy to nurture and watch them grow.  I've lost a few, I can't take claim to being the greenest of thumbs.  But overall I'm thrilled with how well they have all flourished.  Many were drastically reduced plans purchased in the fall after their growing period - .50c for a shrub?! You betcha!  Or little buds from my friend Gidget's amazing garden (she has the true green thumb and has passed along not just her plants to me but her love of gardening, too).  I love seeing these guys bloom the most because they start so small and bloom so full.  This year also brought on our first Colorado veggie garden.  It too is flourishing! I can't wait to taste my first snap pea, or a salad made with fresh greens, ripe tomatoes, juicy cucumbers and crunchy carrots.  Fingers crossed that it continues to do well...

...and just so I don't get too cocky...the grass is a mess and is being reseeded next week.  Can't win them all!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Did I Tell You?

My hubs rode his first century ride last weekend.  He was supposed to do his first one last year but there were major fires near Boulder, where the ride was to be held, so they had to cancel it.  He had trained for months for that ride.  So he registered this year for the Castle Rock Subaru Elephant Rock ride.  He hadn't intended to do a full 100 miles when he registered, or even when he left the house at 5 am that morning.  He planned to do 62 miles (which let's be clear, is a whole helluva lot of miles to ride), but then called me from the road and said "Hey hon, decided to go ahead and  do the 100 - won't be done until 4!" oooookkkkkkk....that's a major butt kicking if you ask me.  And he hardly trained, for reals. He rode his bike to work twice the week prior - that was his training.  Insane.  We went  out to the fairground to cheer him on as he crossed the finish line.  My camera totally fritzed out on me (dammit, that has NEVER happened to me before!), so I missed capturing the finish, but I gotta tell you, I totally choked up as he rode across the line.  I have never been more proud of him - ever.  He rode a HUNDRED MILES!!!  On his bike! (not in a car!)  That is seriously major stuff.

So honey, just know, as I proclaim it to the entire world wide web - I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU!!!  And I love you.  Positively, absolutely, indubitably...

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

What I Did on Day 3 of Summer...

Played with the Mac's Photo Booth ap...

Monday, June 06, 2011

First Day of Summer

Day one of summer, 2011.  Just about perfect.  We slept in (which is 8am in our house).  Hung out in our jammies until almost 10 then went to the grocery.  I sort of forgot how much more work it is to go with 2 rather than my usual 1.  Little man begged for gum about 56 minutes of the 62 minutes we were there.  At one point he was sitting in time out in the freezer section.  Big man just kept disappearing.  So it goes.  Luckily the store fed them - oranges, cheese samples and cookies -- sounds like a decent lunch to me.  Once were were home I started dinner in the crockpot and set up the slip in slide.  Seeing as how our backyard is d.e.a.d. due to an incredibly dry winter the boys did more mud-slide than water-slide but they had fun so that was all that counted.  After a hot bath everyone enjoyed "personal time" (my code word for "get the heck out of my hair for a hour and let's restore peace and solitude to our home."  It actually went over extremely well - I managed to get some work done and they managed to keep quiet in their rooms for an hour.  Score.

Just as we were leaving for Karate Daddy showed up with Grandpa who is visiting for 2 weeks from NY. We had quick hellos and then J-man and I headed out for some akata action.  He actually asked me to drop him off  and pick him up when he was done.  His way of showing some independence.  My way of sneaking in some solo time at my mecca - aka: Target.  Then home again home again for bbq chicken sandwiches and homemade potato salad.  The men-folk talked fishing and reels and I headed out to water the garden.  We have all kinds of goodies coming up - sunflowers, peas, lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, strawberries, blackberries and tomatoes --  all from seed except the latter 3.  I'm jazzed to see it all blooming and can't wait to taste the yumminess!

Holden and Grandpa and Daddy read together while Jackson read to me from Diary of a Wimpy kid.  That kid is funny.  And then everyone went off to sleep, mostly without a hitch.  I indulged in sugar free ice-cream and an on-demand episode of What Not To Wear -- happiness.

Saturday, June 04, 2011

2nd grade...

The end of first grade - out with a POP!

Seriously Mom, I got this thing - I'm totally ready for it. 

Wait, what? I still have an 8:15 bedtime?!?!  

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I love my job.  (all of them)